The Notebook Review
by Jon Popick (jpopick AT sick-boy DOT com)June 23rd, 2004
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The Notebook is the cinematic equivalent of getting lost in your car for a couple of hours. You might happen upon some pretty scenery, interesting wildlife and an attractive local or two, but the bottom line is this: You still wasted a portion of your life on something a smarter and better-prepared person would have managed to avoid.
I'm going to talk about some spoilers here, but for the life of me, I can't imagine how anyone other than a recent stroke victim could be surprised by any of the goings-on in The Notebook. When people gasped during the big "reveal" in the last reel - the one made obvious within the movie's first 10 minutes - my eyes rolled so far back in my head, I actually saw my brain. And my brain was really pissed off about having to sit through pap like this.
The Notebook, based on Nicholas Sparks' 1996 novel (he also wrote the equally mawkish Message in a Bottle and A Walk to Remember), offers a romance that couldn't possibly more vanilla. A Rich Girl (Rachel McAdams, Mean Girls) falls for a Poor Boy (Ryan Gosling, The United States of Leland) during her family's summer holiday in pre-WWII Seabrook, North Carolina. Rich Girl's Mom (Joan Allen, The Contender) sticks her meddling little nose into their relationship and busts them up. This takes 45 minutes, when all director Nick Cassavetes (John Q.) needed to do was shoot a new montage to Grease's "Summer Lovin'."
Flash forward about seven years, where we find Rich Girl engaged to marry Rich Boy (James Marsden, X2) while Poor Boy is still pining for her back in Seabrook. Rich Girl finds an excuse to go back and see Poor Boy. They bone each others' brains out, but Rich Girl still can't decide which boy she wants.
Meanwhile, in a parallel but modern-day story, an Old Guy (James Garner, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood) is reading the story of Rich Girl and Poor Boy to an Old Lady (Gena Rowlands, Taking Lives). Old Lady has what we're supposed to assume is Alzheimer's disease, which is the story's excuse for her not being able to remember - wait for it - that she's really Rich Girl! Can you stand it? Even if you can get past the fact that Alzheimer's works completely opposite from how it's portrayed here (Old Lady should have been able to remember details about her youth but unable to focus on Old Guy's stupid tale), it's still way too much to not see coming a mile away. I mean, there are only four characters in the movie - how else do people expect the stories to tie together?
The only redeeming quality of The Notebook is its two young stars. Gosling doesn't have much to chew on but makes the most of his shallow role. McAdams spends most of the picture shrieking, squealing and giggling as if Julia Roberts was pulling her strings. There are moments where I liked her performance, but she always started channeling Julia within a couple of minutes. Her Rich Girl also wore skirts that seem dangerously low for the period (not that I'm complaining - if it wasn't for the ridiculously photogenic McAdams, I probably would have walked out). Another lifeless dud from Cassavetes (Rowlands is his mom), whose career started so promisingly with Unhook the Stars and She's So Lovely.
2:01 - PG-13 for some sexuality
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