Once Upon A Time In The Midlands Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)September 10th, 2003
ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2003 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): **
ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS isn't a bad movie; it's just a dud. A comedic drama with a pointless story and a humorless script, it meanders along creating slightly quirky characters who never quite manage to be credible.
Set in the English Midlands, the only effective part of the production is its ability to create a strong sense of place. The sky is as dreary and uninviting as the messy suburban homes where the characters live. It feels so damp and miserable that you'll probably put on your sweater as you watch the film.
The story uses everything from clowns being robbed to a purplish pink, three-wheeled car in failed attempts to generate laughs. Probably the best that can be said of the picture is that it generates random smiles from its audience.
Robert Carlyle plays a two-bit hood named Jimmy, who has a good heart but a gruff manner. After making money in a robbery, he leaves Glasgow to go back to a town in the Midlands where Shirley (Shirley Henderson), his ex-wife, lives with their daughter Marlene (Finn Atkins). Jimmy's sister Carol (Kathy Burke) lives across the street from Shirley. Carol's husband is a country-and-western singer who bills himself as the "Midland Cowboy." Shirley's live-in boyfriend, Dek (Rhys Ifans, NOTTING HILL), proposes to her -- she turns him down -- on a TV talk show in the film's opening.
Will Shirley take Jimmy back as he wants? Or will she finally agree to marry Dek? Who cares?
"I've really had enough now," Carol tells Jimmy at about the film's midpoint. You'll be agreeing with her.
ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS runs a long 1:43. It is rated R for "language" and would be acceptable for teenagers.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, September 12, 2003. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the Camera Cinemas.
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