Pirates of the Caribbean Review
by Michael Redman (redman AT bluemarble DOT net)October 2nd, 2003
One Reason To See Pirates, But A Big Reason
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
PG-13
143 Minutes
*** 1/2 (out of *****)
By Michael Redman
It's accepted wisdom that it's difficult to turn a novel into a film. Books are just too damned long. Too many characters, too many events, too many locations, too many sub-plots. They won't fit into a couple of hours.
Hollywood turned to short stories which seemed to work out well. But never being an industry to let well-enough alone, they began searching for even shorter material. Comic books and video games are now legitimate targets.
Now a film is based on a Disney World amusement park ride. Although I've never read...err, ridden the original, I assume that this is a first: a film based on no plot at all. Astonishingly it works fairly well.
The story is definitely of secondary importance in "Pirates Of The Caribbean", but the fun is completely intact. The film is much like a ride. There's a lot to look at, some of it fascinating, but when it's over, you're left with the impression you had a good time and little else.
The plot is simplistic, perhaps necessarily so. There are pirates galore and a more complex story probably would have called for real characterization rather than cartoon characters. A crew of pirates need to make a blood sacrifice to lift a curse. Former pirate captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) wants to get his ship back. Son of a pirate, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) just wants to rescue his shanghaied lady-love, wannabe pirate groupie Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley).
The appeal of the movie is also fairly elementary. Pirates are cool. Special effects are cool. Johnny Depp is beyond cool. Although the effects are nothing special, Depp's performance alone is worth the price of admission.
He says he based his character on Rolling Stone Keith Richards and he's done a commendable job. Depp prances around the ship with Richards' characteristic drunken English Dandy meandering, hamming it up to the hilt.
He's such a hoot to watch that it's easy to ignore the movie's flaws. And you might as well ignore them and enjoy yourself: there's no deeper meaning here no matter how hard you search. It shouldn't come as much of a shock that director Gore Verbinski was the creator of the Budwieser frogs.
Gnawing at my enjoyment while watching the film was an appreciation for the clever manipulation by Disney. During the slow times, and there are a few in this somewhat overly-long romp, it dawned on me that we were watching a lengthy infomercial. It'll be interesting to watch attendance counts at the theme park during the near future.
The film is purposefully designed to appeal to a broad mixed-gender audience. To balance the guy-appeal of the genre, we have two of the hottest male heart-throbs in cinema land. Depp is a fave of the bad-boy fans and Bloom is a clean boy-next-door hero for teenage girls of all ages. Added to the pirates for males, there's shapely Knightley -- in a wet shirt no less.
With the exception of Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa, head of the pirate crew, the rest of the cast is exceptionally faithful to the ride. They look and act exactly like Disney automatons. Without Depp, there would be little to recommend in the film, but here's Johnny and it's impossible to take your eyes off him.
The secret to this movie is to walk in expecting little and you'll be pleasantly surprised. Strap yourself in and enjoy the trip. Keep your hands inside the boat and remember, this is rated PG-13, so you must be _this_ tall to get on this ride.
(As Hollywood becomes more desperate, Michael Redman has a couple of film ideas to discuss: one based on a bumper sticker and the other, on a piece of fruit. Send your minimalist source material to [email protected])
[This originally appeared in the Bloomington (Indiana) Free Press]
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