Poseidon Review
by samseescinema (sammeriam AT comcast DOT net)May 12th, 2006
Poseidon
reviewed by Sam Osborn of www.samseescinema.com
rating: 2.0 out of 4
Director: Wolfgang Peterson
Cast: Josh Lucas, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum, Kurt Russell Screenplay: Mark Protosevich (based on the novel by Paul Gallico) MPAA Classification: PG-13 (intense prolonged sequences of disaster and peril)
Wolfgang Peterson's drowning at the deep end now. After bombing the $150 million Troy in 2004 and losing the studios more than $50 million, the hawks surrounding Hollywood doubted any studio would ever have the chutzpah to hand ole' Wolfy another $100+ million project. But somebody was feeling lucky in L.A. and had pockets deep enough to afford Poseidon a $160 million and risk with Mr. Peterson. This producer must now be tightening the noose as he watches Wolfgang's final cut. $160 million is a lot to pay for colossal mediocrity. Hell, it's a lot to pay for a quality film. But Poseidon won't even pull through at the box office. Despite having nothing to do with its predecessor, the 1972 Poseidon Adventure, the stigma of "yet another remake" is growing tired among audiences. And with lukewarm star power and probable critical lashings, Mr. Peterson's career, for all intensive purposes, should be considered over.
Poseidon has so little to do with The Poseidon Adventure that parallelisms are more appropriately launched towards James Cameron's Titanic. To get your bearings straight, think Titanic with flashing neon lights, sans romance and naked portraits, and with a whole lot more claustrophobic suspense. But Poseidon can't be criticized for turning a cold shoulder to its roots; The Poseidon Adventure wasn't much fun anyhow. The bitter truth to that statement, though, is that this newfangled, highly-priced remix is just as mediocre.
As it opens, we immediately encounter screenwriter Mark Protosevich's clunky approach to character development. We flit about a ballroom lobby, the camera swinging to each of Protosevich's stock characters and are introduced to their hackneyed emotional issues in sore attempts to draw our sympathy. But this is a disaster flick; we're all aware this is just the obligatory lull before the storm and the scenes only muster up a sincere form of apathy for these cramped characters. But a stumbling in these opening segments is excusable as long as Peterson can cover up Protosevich's banality with heaping piles of excitement.
And so the "rogue wave" hits the ship and flips the behemoth on its top, leaving the survivors huddled in the temporary sanctuary of the lobby. But for hardened Navy veteran Dylan Johns (Josh Lucas), waiting to be saved isn't enough. He makes an attempt to sneak away from the lobby and is followed by five others. Later we meet up with Elena Gonzalez (Mia Maestro), Jennifer Ramsey (Emmy Rossum) and her boyfriend Christian (Mike Vogel), who've been trapped in the discotheque. Jennifer's father, Robert (Kurt Russell), makes the rescue, and takes them to join Dylan's group.
>From there, the suspense snowballs, and the group is soon fighting off the water with dizzying speed. These scenes of suspense are hit and miss, hinging mostly on how inventive Protosevich becomes. David Koepp, a master of writing big-budget suspense, drove last year's War of the Worlds with incredible fluidity, hurling his poor characters into increasingly hideous situations devoid of happenstance, convenience or contrivance. Protosevich would do well to study Koepp's methods, as his scenes are based more on structure than invention: the group must reach the top (or bottom, depending on how you see it) of the ship before the water catches them. Like a video game, each level contains a new challenge and puzzle for our characters to defeat. And also like a video game, some of the levels are fun and some, well, aren't. Poseidon often runs into tired bouts of contrivance, where the characters' survival swings in the balance of a convenient
happenstance.
But even despite some monster contrivances, there are still scenes of authentic excitement. In one, the characters crawl through a vertical ventilation shaft rapidly filling with water. At the top, they find a steel covering blocking their escape. Stacked upon one another and soon to be drowning, they scramble to find an exit. It's claustrophobic and exhaustive with suspense.
These scenes, however, aren't enough to mask Poseidon's hulking fault lines. These characters are no better than those we found in the same ship in 1972. They just dress better. It doesn't help that Peterson's direction is desperate and unremarkable. Emmy Rossum is delectable throughout, but this may just be my little crush (what can I say?). The budget shows off some spectacular sets and some fancy footwork with lighting, stunts, and CGI, but this is its slick veneer. Poseidon's the first big disappointment of the Summer. And although it's not a full-fledged disaster, the studio has paid a steep price for mediocrity.
-www.samseescinema.com
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