Real Cancun Review
by Jon Popick (jpopick AT sick-boy DOT com)May 27th, 2003
Planet Sick-Boy: http://www.sick-boy.com
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The idea of an R-rated version of The Real World, at least on its surface, is an appealing concept - for fans of the television show, anyway. I tune in every week and was actually looking forward to a big-screen version that could incorporate nudity and swearing into the already enjoyable mix of arguing over household chores and whatever other pre-adult angst stems from cramming seven people into the same digs for several months.
Sadly, The Real Cancun doesn't have that much in common with the popular MTV show. Instead of seven people, there are 16. That may not seem like too much of a big deal, though it does make it more difficult to keep track of them all, especially with only 90 minutes to do so (and with so many vanilla white guys). The action doesn't find the participants cooped up in a stylish house all day long, but instead puts them smack-dab in the middle of Spring Break. In March. 2003. Get out the abacus, kids - that means filming wrapped 34 days before this film hits your local multiplex. Cancun was rushed into theatres to beat The Quest, another Spring Break doc from a competing studio that we'll see in a couple of weeks.
Cancun, not to mention the upcoming American Idol spinoff From Justin To Kelly, is our collective punishment for enjoying Jackass: The Movie so damn much. But Jackass made a far more seamless transition from the small screen to the big one. Actually, there wasn't a transition there at all - it was the same stupid stuff, only more of it. Cancun, on the other hand, is a train wreck simply because it doesn't follow the same winning formula that makes the TV version so embarrassingly addictive.
Okay; let's say you think it's unfair to compare the movie to the show. Fine. If you look at Cancun as a documentary, it's even more of a failure. The studio sent out postcards that feature each of the 16 cast members, complete with mini bios, and, swear to God, I learned a hundred times more about them from these than I did the film (my favorite is Laura because her response to Favorite Book is "I don't really read."). There are numerous segments that are painfully slow, and there are even two music videos from Snoop Dogg and one of those carbon-copy snotcore bands that all look and sound the same (Blink 41?).
As far as the characters go, only one is remotely interesting and becomes the entire backbone of what is supposed to be Cancun's narrative. His name is Alan, and in addition to being extremely awkward and uncomfortable at the beginning of the film (he turns into a spastic Arnie Grape whenever he sees a pair of bare breasts), he has never taken a sip of alcohol in his life. But by the end of the week, the former passive-aggressive mess is brimming with confidence as he does body shots off complete strangers, which kind of makes it look like he was making up all that straight-edge shit. It's one thing when Barry Egan gets the girl at the end of Punch-Drunk Love, but that's fiction.
There are also a pair of skanky twins, two platonic best friends and two best buddies (one is a major playa, and the other seems content to watch his pal operate...and not from afar, either). I was hoping for a better cross-section of college life, and was especially anxious to see an Andrea Zuckerman clone who was too worried about her midterms to party down. But alas...
1:35 - R for strong sexuality/nudity, language and partying
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