Runaway Bride Review
by "Jonathan Hauer" (spybug AT mindspring DOT com)August 1st, 1999
RUNAWAY BRIDE (1999)
1/2 of a cute kitten (out of four)
Directed by Garry Marshall.
Cast: Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, Joan Cusack, Paul Dooley, Rita Wilson, Hector Elizondo, Christopher Meloni, Jean Schertler, Laurie Metcalf
You already know what it's about.
Maybe I was in a bad mood or maybe I have a thing against theaters with rocking seats banging into my knees, but this contrived, by-the-numbers, empty-calorie movie left me angry. Oh, sure, I laughed a little, but after the fifteenth strategic placement of a cute puppy or a set of adorable twins, I began to feel something akin to hatred for this movie.
"The Runaway Bride" is the movie equivalent of a political campaign, trying to make up for its lack of believable characters and ridiculous plot by throwing in tried and true shots of cute things to keep the audience warm and fuzzy. It's as if Garry Marshall would shout, "THE AUDIENCE IS CATCHING ON TO THE FACT THAT THIS IS CRAP! THROW THEM A KITTY-CAT!" and the audience, almost seeing behind the moldy green curtain within which the studio wizards operate, is unable to react other than favorably to the cotton-candy being lobbed at them.
Please understand that I like romantic fluff movies...I actually liked "Pretty Woman," "Notting Hill" and "My Best Friend's Wedding," all fairly successful attempts at ultra-lite romantic comedy. "Pretty Woman," of course, was directed by Garry Marshall, and had a nice, new touch to it. Richard Gere and Julia Roberts are both decent actors, and can carry a movie. Joan Cusack is always good to have on hand to add some funny, touching buoyancy to a dramatic moment. Larry Miller is a funny comedian. Laurie Metcalf was good on "Roseanne."
Was "The Runaway Bride" destined to be terrible? I don't think so. But, for god sakes, Garry, after "Dear God," I would have thought you'd learned a lesson about adding some complexity and mature interest to a film. Like the flagging comedy of "In & Out," this film tries to approach actual emotion while using characters as synthetic as the stock on which the film was shot. It used stylized, stereotyped situations and then tried to throw Oscar-nominating speeches on top ("You humiliate me every time you take a drink!"). "Bride" couldn't figure out its own tone and as a result never approached the deep-felt humor of a good romantic-comedy.
Alas, it really doesn't matter what I think of this movie. The producers threw in something for everyone, and it'll make a lot of money. I know that much.
To quote Vonnegut, "Hi Ho."
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