The Replacements Review
by Shannon Patrick Sullivan (shannon AT morgan DOT ucs DOT mun DOT ca)August 31st, 2000
THE REPLACEMENTS (2000) / **
Directed by Howard Deutch. Screenplay by Vince McKewin. Starring Keanu Reeves, Gene Hackman, Brooke Langton. Running time: 119 minutes. Rated AA by the MFCB. Reviewed on August 26th, 2000.
BY SHANNON PATRICK SULLIVAN
There is a scene in "The Replacements" (actually, two scenes, since the film has a tendency to repeat itself for the benefit of those with short memories) where a dim-witted stripper-turned-cheerleader enthusiastically joins in one of those "Give me an 'E'!" cheers, only to forget the letter she's supposed to announce. Fortunately, though, she's so happy and so dim that she just keeps going along with the others as if her gaffe had never happened in the first place.
This sequence is perfectly representative of "The Replacements" as a whole. This is a pretty dumb movie, but it is so cheerfully dumb that, in the end, it's hard to really dislike it. It's got an embarrassingly recycled plot, tepid character development, and mostly lame humor. But Hollywood has produced far poorer movies, and maybe that's the best way to think about "The Replacements" -- not great, but think of how it could have turned out!
I can almost guarantee that you've seen the story before; it's the same old underdog-team-makes-good template, just recast in a new setting. "The Replacements" takes place during the 1987 professional football players' strike, albeit in a parallel universe where the NFL teams have been replaced by squads with different nicknames. Edward O'Neil (Jack Warden), owner of perpetual also-rans the Washington Sentinels, is determined to see his team finally make it into the playoffs after seven years. Washington just needs to win three of their last four games, and they're in. O'Neil decides to finish off the season using replacement players, and hires coach Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman) to assemble them.
Instead of bringing in a semi-pro team like some other franchises have done, McGinty seeks out a group of has-beens and never-weres. This motley group includes such notables as a sumo wrestler, a pair of gangsta brothers, and a lightning-fast receiver with permanent butterfingers. The quarterback is Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves), a college star who has never recovered mentally from a crushing Sugar Bowl defeat. The movie proceeds in typical fashion from there. We experience the trials and tribulations of the scab Sentinels as they try to bond as a team, deal with the resentful striking players they've replaced, and find themselves on a collision course with the inevitable Big Game which will decide the season. No points for guessing how it all pans out.
There is, of course, an obligatory romantic subplot, between Falco and the head cheerleader (Brooke Langton). This scenes are excruciating in their contrivance. It is painfully obvious that the romance has been added to the movie because the filmmakers felt it was a necessity of the genre, rather than a natural outgrowth of the story. It is telling that the camera and film editor do more work to establish the relationship than Reeves and Langton. The scene where they first meet is particularly embarrassing -- just count the number of times we cut back and forth between their wistful glances at one another. It would be hilarious if it wasn't played so straight. Langton's is the most superfluous character in "The Replacements", and the fact that she never develops any semblance of an interesting personality doesn't help matters.
And this is unfortunate, because the other subplot involving the cheerleaders -- namely, the fact that the hastily-assembled squad is mostly made up of exotic dancers -- is surprisingly well-handled. It's a very funny notion, and is not carried too far. The only thing that doesn't make much sense is just why a new group of cheerleaders would have been required in the first place; why in the world would a players' strike affect them? (Of course, the same could be said about the need for O'Neil to hire McGinty.)
Neither Reeves nor Hackman turn in particularly memorable work here. It seems obvious that the part of their brain normally devoted to acting is instead being put to work figuring out just why they agreed to appear in a such a run-of-the-mill movie. Some of the supporting players are more effective, simply because they seem to be have a lot more fun. Rhys Ifans, as the Welsh kicker Nigel "The Leg" Gruff, is a delight. Jon Favreau as SWAT-team-member-turned-blocker Daniel Bateman, who seems to share a few branches of the family tree with Animal from "The Muppet Show", is enjoyable as well.
But perhaps the most curious aspect of "The Replacements" is its treatment of the whole strike scenario. If it had just been left in the background as an excuse for a group of sadsack football players to wind up in a major game, that would have been fine. But instead, the striking players are presented as the movie's villains, particularly Eddie Martel (Brett Cullen), the Sentinels' regular quarterback. Cullen portrays him as arrogant, seedy, and thoroughly obnoxious. No thought is ever given to the players' side in the labor dispute. Right from the start they're painted as lazy and greedy: a player gives up a possible touchdown in the dying seconds of the last game before the strike, rather than risk injury.
Certainly, it seems absurd that people already making millions of dollars should go on strike to protest their wages. But what must be borne in mind is that the owners rake in significantly more money and -- most importantly of all -- the fans are willing to pay inflated ticket prices to watch the games. Player salaries have attained these exorbitant levels not through some artifice on the part of their union, but essentially because this is what the market has determined they can and should earn.
Unfortunately, "The Replacements" is so eager to have a group of characters that can be labelled as the bad guys that none of this is so much as considered. And that is as good an indicator as any of the complacency which grips this project. The result is a movie which is good for an occasional laugh but, before long, will be mercifully forgotten. Reeves and Hackman deserve better.
Copyright © 2000 Shannon Patrick Sullivan.
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