Shark Tale Review
by Jon Popick (jpopick AT sick-boy DOT com)October 1st, 2004
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It's impossible to watch Shark Tale and not think about Finding Nemo. The duo represent Round Two in the animation battle (with similar themes) between DreamWorks and Pixar, and the former fares so poorly, they wish Steve Jobs would gnaw a chunk out of their ear so the ref will just call the thing. Admittedly, Nemo's shoes are tough to fill - think of a little kid trying to clomp around in Shaq's kicks - but Tale doesn't come close. It's Antz to Pixar's A Bug's Life, and if that's not enough to scare you off, keep reading.
Tale, which features three credited directors and four credit writers, has the humor of a typical mid-'70s-era Tonight Show episode. It's bland and broad. Jessica Shrimpson? Scallop polls? Cab drivers who sound like they' re from the Axis of Evil? These are jokes lame enough to make the writers of Yes, Dear groan like they've been mortally wounded (and, yes, they deserve to be mortally wounded). Tale's attempt at keeping adult audiences interested - you know, instead of being funny - is to have computer generated characters look like the people providing their voices. So we get Robert DeNiro as a shark with a mole on his cheek; Martin Scorsese as a puffer fish with huge, bushy eyebrows; and Will "2K" Smith as an ambitious yet lackadaisical fish named Oscar with sticky-outy ears, and a big, irritating mouth.
The comparisons between Oscar and Smith don't end with the physical resemblance, either. Oscar, like his real life counterpart, becomes famous for perpetrating a hoax. Where Smith's swindle involves the premise of legitimate talent, Oscar - he's named after the award Smith will never win - cons his oceanmates into thinking he has the ability to kill sharks. He doesn't, of course - Oscar's legend grows after being in the right spot at the right time (Independence Day anyone?) when a dropping anchor takes out a pursuing shark (Michael Imperoli) who happens to be the son of an underwater Don (DeNiro). Oscar claims he shook up the world, and the balance of oceanic power takes a fairly decent tilt.
The rest of Tale involves Oscar trying to keep up the rouse, with the help of the Don's other, slightly effeminate son (Jack Black) and a co-worker who has had a crush on Oscar for years (Renée Zellweger). Things play out predictably, only with more product placement than one might prefer. Unlike Nemo, I can't imagine a childless adult wanting to waste their time and money on Tale, unless they're into listening to A-list voice talent, which is the one area DreamWorks can claim victory over Pixar. Tale's animation isn't as sharp or interesting, and the characters look odd and frightening where Pixar's are cute and cuddly. But, unlike Antz, at least none of Tale's characters look like Benjamin Bratt. <shudder>
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