Stuck on You Review
by Jon Popick (jpopick AT sick-boy DOT com)December 12th, 2003
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The Farrelly brothers have crafted yet another consistently funny, if not very politically incorrect comedy with Stuck on You. But like most films released in December, it goes on way too long. It's an irritating quirk with those Farrellys: They just don't know when to end their films, choosing to tack on 20 gratingly uplifting minutes to the perfectly acceptable conclusion after spending 90 minutes being tasteless, obnoxious buffoons. Is it an attempt at penance? Do they think we need to learn an important lesson after forcing us to laugh at jokes revolving around retards?
This time, the Farrellys cook up a story about Bob and Walt Tenor, conjoined twins who run a burger joint in Martha's Vineyard. They're played, respectively, by Matt Damon (The Bourne Identity) and Greg Kinnear (Auto Focus), though early casting envisioned a much funnier teaming of Woody Allen and Jim Carrey. Bob is shy and perfectly happy flipping burgers for the rest of his life. Walt, on the other hand, is an aspiring actor who performs in local one-man shows with a sweaty, nauseous Bob on his hip (literally) on the verge of a panic attack.
One day, Walt decides he wants to move to Hollywood to pursue his acting dreams. Bob reluctantly agrees, even though he realizes this will likely mean he'll have to meet his Internet girlfriend for the first time. The story that follows, as you can imagine, is about the unusual problems a conjoined twin would encounter trying to land acting jobs. Actually, it's easier than you might think, as Walt is hired, almost immediately, by Cher, who is trying to do the old trick from The Producers to get out of a truly awful Moonlighting-esque drama called Honey and the Bease (and Bob becomes the show's head writer).
Viewers with a basic working knowledge of the ins and outs of Hollywood will have a slight advantage with some of You's inside jokes. This flick would have been much funnier and much more natural with an R rating, especially when it comes to Cher's dialogue. The diva weaving a PG-13 tapestry of obscenities just doesn't work on even the simplest of levels (and the Frankie Muniz scene would have been drop-dead hysterical had I not already seen it four dozen times in the trailer).
That said, how surprising is it to see more Oscar winners in You (Damon, Cher and Meryl Streep) than in Cold Mountain? It also has way more ex-Governors (Jesse Ventura), more Heisman Trophy winners (Ricky Williams), more professional golfers (Sergio Garcia, Jesper Parnevik and Billy Andrade), and more Super Bowl champs (Tom Brady and Lawyer Milloy). And it has plenty of great sight gags revolving around the conjoined twin thing, especially the montage of a younger Bob and Walt playing sports.
But the running time is still problematic. A picture like this doesn't need to run for more than 90 minutes.
1:52 - PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, and some language
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