Swordfish Review
by "Rose 'Bams' Cooper" (bams AT 3blackchicks DOT com)June 14th, 2001
'3BlackChicks Review...'
SWORDFISH (2001)
Rated R; running time 95 minutes
Genre: Action
Seen at: Jack Lokes' Celebration Cinema (Lansing, Michigan) Official site: http://www.operationswordfish.com/
IMDB site: http://us.imdb.com/Details?0244244
Written by: Skip Woods
Directed by: Dominic Sena
Cast: John Travolta, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, Camryn Grimes,
Vinnie Jones, Sam Shepard
Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2001
Review URL: http://www.3blackchicks.com/bamsswordfish.html
Glory be, Halle was actually *good* in this one. Maybe she should loose her breastesses more often; removing that sling seemed to have had a freeing effect on her acting.
The Story (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**)
Gabriel Shear (John Travolta) needs a few good men to help him liberate nine billion dollars from a high-security government computer, to fund a project which I will not spoil for you [unlike a few of my fellow reviewers. But that's Another Rant For Another Time]. Enter Stanley Jobson (Hugh Jackman), a former "hacker" [*cracker*, dammit!] who served two years in prison for doing Bad Things to a computer that didn't belong to him, and isn't allowed to see his daughter Holly (Camryn Grimes) because her drunk shrew of a mother got a court order against him.
Gabriel sends his assistant, Ginger (Halle Berry), off to recruit Stan to break into the supercomputer, with promises of helping Stan regain custody of Holly - not to mention a few million dollars of his own - as incentive. But Stan, who could go to prison for simply *touching* a computer again, must elude the agent who put him away in the first place - burnt-out cybercrimes supersluth Agent Roberts (Don Cheadle) - and try to figure out how to survive Gabriel, aka The World's Most Dangerous Spy.
The Upshot:
Oh, I reckon I could kvetch about how SWORDFISH slung around TechnoBabble like it was going out of style, and how laughingly AOL-ish Stan's Graphical Hydra was ["You've Got Worms!"], and how Dell is making beaucoup bux from product placement, and how this movie was chock full of gratuitous dialogue and shots (and nope, I'm not just playa-hatin' on Halle's Friends), and ultimately, how derivative SWORDFISH was of any number of Summer Action Flicks (pick one, *any* one; start with John Travolta's BROKEN ARROW, mix in DIE HARD, work a little SPEED in there...you get my drift).
I reckon I could, but I won't - because SWORDFISH was exactly what it set out to be: a straight-ahead Summer Testosterone Rush wrapped up in Action Flick clothing. I can diggit.
I have to admit, too, that Halle Berry really surprised me; she worked this flick like nobody's business. Berry and John Travolta left poor Hugh Jackman in the dust (much in the way Christopher Walken walked all over doe-eyed Johnny Depp in the similar daddy-struggles-to-save-his-kid actioner, NICK OF TIME). None of their characters were all that deep, though at least they weren't completely predictable, or written wholly in good/evil tones. Yes, I gave a bah humbug to Gabriel's Declaration of exactly who he was, but by that point in the movie, even the blatant compugeek name-dropping ["Torvalds"? Guffaw!] or the underuse of Don Cheadle and Vinnie Jones (Marco), didn't phase me anymore.
I do have one true complaint, though: the first 15 or so minutes, set a "Matrix"-like pace that the next 80 or so minutes lived up to only sporadically; let's just say that director Dominic Sena blew too much of his action wad in the trailer (yes, I know; not his fault). Still, SWORDFISH was interesting - ok, I'll admit it: fun - even when it was downright silly.
And the irony of Gabriel's monologue about Bad Movies - especially considering Travolta's last two contributions to the world of Ugly Cinema: LUCKY NUMBERS ad BATTLEFIELD EARTH - was completely delicious.
The "Black Factor" [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith]:
If you've visited the 3BC "Viewer Voices" webboard lately (and if you haven't, you should), you'll notice that some of us have been discussing Halle Berry's decision to bare her breasts, for - as rumor would have it (a rumor she's since denied) - $500,000 [another irony, considering what the Stan character was paid to talk to her character's boss. But I digress]. Much of the discussion on the VV board centered around a statement Berry was said to have made as to why she did her first semi-nude movie scene; a 3BC reader saw an interview in which Berry was quoted as saying:
"For the first ten years of my film career, I've always said no to nudity. I wouldn't even read a script that called for nudity. But a lot has changed in my life...So, I finally feel free to explore myself as an artist. Not to say that the minute I got that revelation I decided to take my clothes off. But I feel free to make choices from an artistic standpoint, and that's a very empowered place to be. But instead of focusing on a role you might not approve of, I'd like people to note that this was a role written for a white woman, opposite a big star like
John Travolta. Doesn't this take us to another level in the industry as black women?"
My take on the matter? First, as long as she's not hurting anyone in the process, I don't think Halle Berry owes anybody any explanations for what she chooses to do with her body, on- or off-screen. Like I said on "Viewer Voices", if she decides to run around butt naked and pour baby oil on her knees, that's her business.
But please, Ms. Berry, don't be fooled into thinking that showing your Perky Tits (tm, alt.tv.homicide) is any Giant Leap For Blackwomankind, especially as done in the (mostly gratuitous, though still effective) SWORDFISH scene. Political Statement, it ain't. Not that Hugh Jackman and half the men (and some of the women) in America, mind. But you go, girl, and don't sweat about having to Uplift The Race; uplift your asking salary, even if you have to uplift your breasts to do it. I ain't mad atcha.
Bammer's Bottom Line:
Call it derivative, call it an homage, but SWORDFISH made me hungry [nyuk nyuk] for a little DOG DAY AFTERNOON action. I wonder if (ObProductPlacement) Netflix's open this late at night...
SWORDFISH (rating: greenlight):
Wanna bet that Halle's Pups'll get nominated for two MTV Movie Awards?
Rose "Bams" Cooper
Webchick and Editor,
3BlackChicks Review
Entertainment Reviews With Flava!
Copyright Rose Cooper, 2001
EMAIL: [email protected]
http://www.3blackchicks.com/
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