Syriana Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)November 22nd, 2005
SYRIANA
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2005 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): *
If you've been to the movies lately or if you've watched any television, you have undoubtedly seen the trailers for SYRIANA numerous times by now. If you're like me, you probably thought each time about how much you wanted to see the film. And, why wouldn't you? The trailers portray a movie that's energetic, provocative and full of action. The dialog is irreverently funny, and the story sounds intriguing.
Well, after wasting over two hours of my life in the theater watching a movie that the studio claims is SYRIANA, I'm still waiting to see the film that was advertised in that great trailer. As actually released, the movie is everything the trailer is not. The acting in the thrillerless thriller is one degree above absolute zero, and the characters talk just a hair above a whisper, one guesses so that they won't wake the audience which they are busy putting to sleep.
SYRIANA, written and directed by Stephen Gaghan, the writer of THE ALAMO, is extremely convoluted, but the good news is that you will never care. It takes as a given that oil executives are ipso facto evil as are government officials, all of whom are in collusion with despotic Middle Eastern leaders in order to control the world's oil.
>From its premise that the oil business is inherently corrupt, the story proceeds to do absolutely nothing. Or at least nothing that makes any sense. Lumbering along at less than a snail's pace, the movie introduces a cast of thousands (which includes George Clooney, Matt Damon and Amanda Peet) and sets them at multiple locations around the world.
The plot involves an oil company merger, a lawyer digging for a little dirt and a discredited CIA operative sent into a dangerous situation.
Trust me, if you see this first on television, you are going to want to con your spouse into watching it and asking him or her to call you when the story finally gets started. You can do the laundry or something more enjoyable than watching it. Don't worry -- you'll never hear again from your spouse, since the movie never gets in gear. Except for a hard-to-watch scene of torture and one brief rocket attack, the movie is completely dead. You will keep asking yourself, whether anything is ever going to happen. Eventually, it will become obvious to you that nothing ever will. SYRIANA is easily one of the worst movies of the year.
SYRIANA runs a butt-numbingly long 2:06. The film is in Arabic, Farsi and French with English subtitles and in English. It is rated R for "violence and language" and would be acceptable for teenagers.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, December 9, 2005. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and the Camera Cinemas.
Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com
Email: [email protected]
***********************************************************************
Want free reviews and weekly movie and video recommendations via Email?
Just send me a letter with the word "subscribe" in the subject line.
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
