Taxi Review
by Homer Yen (homer_yen AT yahoo DOT com)October 15th, 2004
"Taxi" – No Fare
by Homer Yen
(c) 2004
I'm sure that I'm not the only guy that still fancies spending a little bit of time at the video arcade. One of my favorites is an offbeat driving game called Crazy Taxi. In this game that will surely increase the likelihood of having your driver's license revoked, you whisk through town and through traffic picking up fares. You shuttle them here and there at suicidal speeds as you crash through sidewalk debris, cause bystanders to jump out of your way, and put gravity to the test as you jump over anything and everything. Although this is one of my favorite games, the novelty wears away quickly after the third go-around.
And the same can be said of the film "Taxi," a buddy film that teams together a transportation-challenged cop (Jimmy Fallon) and a ready-for-NASCAR cabbie (Queen Latifah) that has the same feel as that video game. However, after about 30 minutes of this ill-conceived nonsense, you have to wonder: "what were they thinking?" Ok, it's probably some sort of tryout for Jimmy Fallon, who is actually a fairly funny guy. He's eager to entertain and we know that he can as we've likely seen him as the wisecracking, off-the-cuff anchorman in those wacky news segments for Saturday Night Live (frankly, this year's combination of Fallon and Tina Fey is the funniest and most fluid ever for the news segment). And, the few precious outtakes shows how genial he is, especially the 10-second blooper in which he inhales nitrous oxide and speaks like a well-known soul singer. Now that's funny. But, we didn't pay to see the bloopers. In fact, you can sneak in for free to catch the closing credits. The challenge, though, is that he's confined. He's not free to roam around. He needs to spread his wings in the way that Jim Carrey can, enabling him to appear bigger than life. Fallon deserves another shot. Here, he's prepackaged and canned, and that's no fun.
Meanwhile, he certainly seems like a pipsqueak playing opposite the regal Queen Latifah. Here's a woman who knows how to carry herself even in a piece of fluff like this. But again, what was she thinking? Certainly, she should realize that her value as a Hollywood commodity could only decrease by having this on her resume. Their chemistry just doesn't work and their banter yields more groans than laughter. Wit is about as abundant as parking spaces in New York. Buffoonery is as rampant as potholes in lower Manhattan.
I would have preferred more car chases. That's because the characters are totally forgettable. So, let's concentrate on those sleek cars. Those BMWs that are used as getaway cars are certainly colorful. They definitely get the award for best product placement since the "Italian Job" featured those Mini Coopers. And certainly the film should've taken a greater interest in the quartet of bank robbers. It never hurts to showcase Brazilian supermodel villains (Giselle Bundchen, Ana Cristina de Oliveira, Ingrid Vandebosch and Magali Amadei). Yes, they look great in their fashionable getup. But, don't they have anything worthwhile to say? Does this film have anything worthwhile to say? If you take this rough "Taxi" ride, don't say that I didn't warn you.
Grade: D
S: 1 out of 3
L: 1 out of 3
V: 1 out of 3
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