Underworld: Evolution Review
by samseescinema (sammeriam AT comcast DOT net)January 22nd, 2006
Underworld: Evolution
reviewed by Sam Osborn of www.samseescinema.com
rating: 2 out of 4
Director: Len Wiseman
Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Bill Nighy, Scott Speedman
Screenplay: Len Wiseman, Danny McBride
MPAA Classification: R (pervasive strong violence and gore, some sexuality/nudity and language)
Underworld: Evolution is a waste of creative potential; a swarthy letdown of picture. The whole series needs to take two steps back, realize what they've wasted and, with the inevitable third film, slice and bite their way down a new direction. It has all the right puzzle pieces, but lacks a clue as to where to place them. So, like its predecessor, co-writer/director Len Wiseman throws these metaphoric puzzle pieces about, and lets them fall into an awkward, nonsensical form. What we're given is a test of our patience; a humorless, stomping march through grudgingly forced territory. Instead of fixing what was broken with the first Underworld, Wiseman lazily lets the flaws stand, flaunting their arrogant blemish throughout this unnecessary sequel.
To explain the plot would be pointless. In short, it's a stupid, incestuous mess of broken legends and weakly imagined backstory. It's confusing, rife with peripheral characters, and greatly lacking necessity. Wiseman and Co-writer Danny McBride form this farce of a history lesson involving the warring clans, the Lycans and the Death Dealers (which is Underworld jargon for Werewolves and Vampires). Skipping all the nonsense of Underworld: Evolution's exposition, a hybrid of the two clans, Lord Marcus (Tony Curran) rises from slumber to wreak devastation. Our porcelain-skin, leather-clad Vampire heroine, Selene, played be the wickedly bewitching gem Kate Beckinsale, is forced to mount the offensive with her friend (also a hybrid) Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman).
The many legends of vampires are almost always ones of great and boundless indulgence. They delve into deep sensuality and pointy-toothed violence, forming a gothic excess of elements fearfully enjoyable in all their guilty pleasures. The Underworld series would do better to leave their quasi-medieval backstories behind and indulge in the slick, sensually gothic overtones it already dabbles in. What might form would be a stylish urban fantasy; a devilish merging of legends that would fall somewhere between The Matrix and a Stephen Sommers flick (The Mummy, Van Helsing). But we mustn't forget humor. As it stands, Selene is a hard-edged badass awkwardly capable of romance. What she needs-and what all the other characters need for that matter-is a hearty does of wry, tongue-in-cheek humor a la Hellboy. The film is depressingly humorless. With B-level superhero material such as this, a pinch of the funny spice is certainly called for.
Fortunately however, Wiseman doesn't skimp with his action sequences. Running rampant through nearly every scene of his film, Wiseman's violence is low on inspiration, but brimming with fury. This is no PG-13 tricycle tour of tamed melee combat. No. Wiseman allows spacious screen time for his highly stylized scenes of gore and fortunate violence to stretch their limbs and rear their heads. And with a tastefully explicit sex scene of Beckinsale and Speedman, Len Wiseman assuredly knows how to do rated-R right. But with only the directorial experience of both Underworld features-both of which are room temp. duds-maybe its Wiseman's time to go buff up his directorial skills on a different project and let another filmmaker drive the next Underworld vehicle.
The Underworld universe is certainly capable of lavish offerings, with its steely blue-eyed bloodsuckers and the indelibly voluptuous Selene. And with such a taste for high-octane violence, and werewolves straight out of F.W. Murnau's wildest dreams (Nosferatu), Underworld could flaunt the potential of becoming a devastatingly successful hybrid of cinema if it simply had the mind to change.
-reviewed by Sam Osborn of www.samseescinema.com
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