Wicker Park Review
by Rose 'Bams' Cooper (bams AT 3blackchicks DOT com)September 7th, 2004
'3BlackChicks Review...'
WICKER PARK (2004)
Rated PG-13; running time 114 minutes
Studio: MGM
Genre: pseudoRomantic Drama
Seen at: Eastwood Neighborhood Cinema Group (Lansing, Michigan) IMDB site: http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0324554/combined Writer: Brandon Boyce (based on the movie "L'Appartement") Director: Paul McGuigan
Cast: Josh Hartnett, Matthew Lillard, Rose Byrne, Diane Kruger, Jessica Pare
Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2004
Review URL:
http://www.3blackchicks.com/2004reviews/bamswickerpark.html
When you have to hold yourself back from screaming at the screen, "Stop acting stupid, jeez!", you know there's not much hope for doing a meaningful review. Won't stop me from trying, though.
THE STORY (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**)
Matthew (Josh Hartnett), a photographer at heart, floats through life pretending to be an Advertising Executive (and an achingly bad one at that) who's also pretending to be in love with the sister (Jessica Pare) of his boss. But, through the use of ever-increasingly irritating flashbacks, we see that Matt's One Troo Luv, Lisa (Diane Kruger) - who, by the way, he stalked before she called him out - inexplicably moves out of his life. Matt enlists the aid of his best friend Luke (Matthew Lillard) and indirectly, Dark Lisa (Rose Byrne), to find his now Lost Luv; and we the audience spend 114 minutes we'll never get back, wondering why, god, oh why must we be subjected to crap like this week after week after bloody friggin' week?
THE UPSHOT
Have you ever watched a movie that you know would've been over in a few minutes, if any of its characters had a smidgeon of good sense? You know what I mean: uninteresting people running all over town doing Stupid Stuff whilst looking for their Lost Love, instead of calling said Lost Love's cellphone...let alone emailing them? Yeah, WICKER PARK is that kind of movie. Had any of its characters exhibited the sense god gave a billygoat, WICKER PARK would've been over in 14 minutes, instead of torturing me for 100 minutes more.
At best, WICKER can be viewed as a modern-day FATAL ATTRACTION of sorts, though this one's Alex pales by comparison to Glenn Close's over-the-top vixen. It's no fair comparison, certainly, given that this flick's painful rendition didn't even have the foresight to be about as little as a tome on the hazards of infidelity. Instead, it was content to mumble something or another about the Dangers! of stalking and obsession...especially if you're not one of the Beautiful People. If WICKER had gone the extra mile towards FATAL ATTRACTION territory, maybe there would be something worth writing about. As it is, the best I can say is, I haven't totally given up on Josh "Keanu Jr" Hartnett. Yet.
No, WICKER PARK was content to be much ado about nothing, mistaking irritating camera tricks for actual substantive storytelling. WICKER PARK having offered so little, there was not much to give back but a redlight of discontent, both for its (lack of) execution and its having been made in the first place. If the movie's reason for being was, as one character implied, to show The Dark Side of love-at-first-sight, then maybe "...or not to be" should've been Shakespeare's final answer to this bland bit of inanity.
BAMMER'S BOTTOM LINE
Just when HERO got me excited about the movies again, along comes WICKER PARK to spoil the fun.
WICKER PARK rating: redlight
Rose "Bams" Cooper
3BlackChicks Review
Entertainment Reviews With Flava!
Copyright Rose Cooper, 2004
EMAIL: [email protected]
http://www.3blackchicks.com/
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