Wild Wild West Review
by Robert Workman (DarkFalcon AT webtv DOT net)July 6th, 1999
The Happy Bastard's Quick Movie Review
WILD WILD WEST
A better name for this movie might've been "Wild Wild Waste".
Warner Bros., in an attempt to get their own Men In Black style of movie, had managed to lasso in some big names (actor Will Smith and director Barry Sonnenfeld, the duo behind MIB's success) in order to get their own Fourth of July blockbuster, a contemporary big-screen update to the classic western/sci-fi series The Wild Wild West starring Robert Conrad. But somehow, they ran into a problem along the way. They were so busy trying to fill specific roles that they forgot one in general that would've made all the difference- a story writer.
Wild Wild West's story and script was compiled by six different people, rather than just the one who put the brilliant touches on Men In Black, Ed Solomon. If Warner Bros. had gotten him, the movie would've possibly been five times better than what it is. Heck, ten times. As is, however, the story and screenplay is a mess, filled with dead laughs, enough racist and sex jokes to make even Will cringe as he's performing them, and a complete lack of chemistry that made the TV show work so well.
Here's the story: US Army member James West (Will Smith) teams up with creative genius Artemus Gordon (Kevin Kline) to take on a ruthless villain by the name of Arliss Loveless (Kenneth Branagh), whose lower half was blown off during the Civil War, leaving him to roll around in a steam-controlled wheelchair. They catch onto a plot of his involving a superweapon that can basically be considered an 80-foot tarantula (although it looks bigger than that), hellbent on destroying anything in its path.
As I said, the way the script unfolds is a complete mess. But the acting doesn't help either. Kevin Kline is miserable as Gordon, failing to display even a smidgeon of care as he did in the 1985 western Silverado. Smith seems to be having a better time as West, although he's not nearly as charming as he was in MIB. Branagh goes excessively over the top as the villain, perhaps to the point where we can't even stand to look at him or his strange beard. And Salma Hayek is along for the ride to search for her missing father, but mostly she exists just for sexual attention. Her acting is barely passable, but what a "breath of fresh ass".
Director Barry Sonnenfeld isn't of great help either. Even though he shows some good creativity at some points, his overall urgency for directing is lost. It's as if he feels he's directing a TV movie, a big no-no when you're helming what's supposed to be a big-screen hit.
Last but not least, there are huge gaps of logic that are just plain unacceptable. At one point, Smith defies gravity when first boarding Kline's train. He jumps on the back, gets launched straight UP in the air, and somehow manages to land three cars ahead on the train- WHILE IT'S STILL IN MOTION! Also, he seems to be strangely comfortable talking about racism in front of a lynch mob, particularly considering the fact that his family was killed by the likes of such folks. Last but not least, why is he still making kissing faces when he KNOWS he's not kissing a woman as he's looking through a peephole at the enemy?!
The ONLY saving grace for Wild Wild West come mostly in the form of special effects. The huge mechanical spider is a technical marvel, very authentic looking and considerable to the creativity of the show. There's also a good sequence involving metal magnet neckbraces and spinning saw blades, but, again, a logic question comes into play regarding their polarity.
I would say sit back and have a good time with Wild Wild West, but it really isn't possible. If the racist and sex jokes don't bother you, the performances will. If the performances don't bother you, the story will. If the story doesn't bother you, the racist and sex jokes will. There's no end to the vicious circle. Go rent Men In Black instead and pretend Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are wearing cowboy hats. You'll have a better time.
If you DO go, keep an eye out for Robert Conrad in a role as president Grant. I bet HE wishes he were somewhere else...
RATING: 3 (out of 10)
The Happy Bastard
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
