You Don't Mess with the Zohan Review
by Homer Yen (homeryen88 AT gmail DOT com)June 8th, 2008
"The Zohan" - Adam Sandler Is Just Messing Around
by Homer Yen
(c) 2008
If the Academy had an Oscar for "Being a Good Sport", then half of this cast would be nominated. In the film "You Don't Mess with the Zohan," Adam Sandler playfully pokes fun at hummus-lovers, Arabs and Israelis (mostly the Arabs), the middle-eastern enterprising spirit, and President's wives. Like most Sandler films, the gags generally appeal to the perverse side of your funny bone. What? You don't have a perverse side? Then you might as well stay home and sip your chamomiles tea.
Sandler plays the titular Zohan, an Israeli special-operations commando who seems to get his fighting mindset from the Cartoon Network and his fighting skills from Aquaman (or maybe Flipper). The opening setup is charmingly goofy. And it gets even goofier when Zohan decides to leave the army and escape to NYC. His true passion is to cut hair. After all, people need to have hair that is silky smooth.
Sure, the idea sounds potentially insulting to both secret agents and hair stylists. But, there isn't really a hint of seriousness at all here anyway. Everyone involved is just having fun with a self-effacing giggle. For example, Mariah Carey's brief cameo carries about the same weight as her ability to toss out the first pitch of a Japanese baseball game (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwFgpPvK0aU). Prim-and-proper-Facts-of-Life-tv-show-headmistress Charlotte Rae enjoys the most sensual cut-and-style of her life. George Takei (yup, Mr. Sulu from Star Trek) has a night out with the boys (that's tongue-in-cheek funny because you may have read a very recent AP article that was titled: Mr. Sulu Goes Where Ellen Has Gone Before).
Anyway, In America, Zohan finds a job at a small salon run by an Arab cutie named Dalia (Emmanuella Chriqui). Zohan is a killer stylist with the female clientele. These scenes are by far the best in the film. His aggressive heterosexuality causes lines to form down the block. And there are a few other funny gems, such as the brief scene where Zohan and two friends play Hacky Sack in an apartment. You just have to watch that for yourself.
But there isn't a feel of continuity. There are all sorts of distractions that get in the way of the goofiness, like the oily corporate-types that want to tear down the salon in order to build a mall. The runtime is a trim 113 minutes, but it seems 50% longer than it really is. And the last-third just drags. Meanwhile, it feels like an "R" rated film with all of the gross humor, sexual innuendo, and naughty behavior. Somehow, "Zohan" manages to pull in a PG-13 rating.
I recognize the modern-day relevance of having an Adam Sandler film as well as being in one. For example, in the final, final results show of American Idol, all sorts of musical icons unexpectedly came out to perform their biggest hits from years gone by. By getting in front of a younger generation, they had the chance to reintroduce their brand of music to people of the ITune generation.
For me, "Zohan" was funnier that I thought it would be. If I do ever meet Adam Sandler, I'll be sure to give him the "Obama-fist-bump" to compliment him for not holding back. It's not the best comedy picture you'll see, but I think that it's one of Adam Sandler's better nonsensical projects. As Robin Leach (who is not in this film) might be apt to say: "To Zohan, I wish him shampoo wishes and conditioner dreams."
Grade: C+
S: 2 out of 3
L: 1 out of 3
V: 1 out of 3
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