The Big Hit Review
by Steve Rhodes (srhodes AT ricochet DOT net)April 25th, 1998
THE BIG HIT
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1998 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): ***
Too many movies these days aren't smart enough to realize they would have been infinitely better recast as parodies - FIRESTORM and HARD RAIN come immediately to mind. Arguably the best thing that can be said about THE BIG HIT is that it is smart enough to realize how dumb it is and to make the most of it. Never taking itself seriously, even for a moment, the movie features silly dialog ("Ladies, you're so fine I want to pour milk over you and make you a part of my complete breakfast.") and shoot 'em up action played for maximum camp.
A group of macho hit men lead by Cisco, played in a hilarious over-the-top performance by Lou Diamond Phillips, kill people left and right. Mark Wahlberg, who was the well-endowed porn star in BOOGIE NIGHTS, is Cisco's number one gun, Melvin Surley. Mel is a sensitive contract killer, whose biggest worry is that people will not like him. Cisco and the other members of his crew like to show off their buff bodies, and the picture includes some conspicuous rear male nudity to titillate the audience.
With the military precision and the weaponry of commandos, the hit men can take on any challenge. That is until they decide to pick up a little money on the side by kidnapping a millionaire's daughter, Keiko Nishi, played with a delicious mixture of schoolgirl innocence and tough-woman attitude by cinematic newcomer China Chow. When she reads her kidnapper's ransom note, misspellings and all, the scene will have you in stitches. Her father, Jiro (Sab Shimono), turns out to be a bankrupt filmmaker, whose best friend is Cisco's boss.
Taavo Soodor's set decoration is a hoot. Mel lives in an upper middle-class development in which the men engage in synchronized lawn mowing reminiscent of L.A. STORY. His garage has all the standard household tools as well as enough guns to supply a small army.
The movie has a side plot so ridiculous that it's great dealing with an obnoxious, pimple-faced, video rental clerk, played by Danny Smith, who keeps calling and threatening to kill Mel if he doesn't bring back his overdue copy of KING KONG LIVES. The clerk has a wanted flyer posted with Mel's picture on it for being a "video truant." One of the other hit men, on the other hand, is a video store award winner, who has his picture on display for entirely different reasons. But this funny subplot is basically unprintable.
Among the movie's more absurd scenes is a car chase and demolition derby, during which Cisco uses his car like Paul Bunyan to fell the big trees in his path. The movie even uses instant replays to show you exactly how the characters manage to escape certain death.
Just to make sure that he's covered every comedic base, writer Ben Ramsey has a part for Elliott Gould as a hen-pecked Jewish husband who can't be let near the alcohol or bad things will happen. Well, lots of bad things do happen in THE HIT MEN. And its director Kirk Wong has the audience laughing at most of them.
THE BIG HIT runs a fast 1:39. It is rated R for violence, profanity and brief nudity and would be fine for teenagers.
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
