Crank Review
by Tim Voon (winklebeck AT hotmail DOT com)October 23rd, 2006
Crank (2006)
A film review by Timothy Voon
Copyright 2006 Timothy Voon
0 out of 5 stars
Director: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor Cast: Jason Statham, Amy Smart
I am desperately trying to forget 'Crank' ever happened, even as I force myself to recollect bad memories of this movie in order to complete this review.
This wannabe 'Speed' is hormonally charged from the word go, and lacks any clear direction until it disappears into a cesspool of bad movie oblivion. The plot lends itself liberties for murder and mayhem by setting up an unbelievable scenario where a hitman, Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is injected by a Chinese poison that will kill him if his adrenaline levels drop beyond a certain level in his body. God! They should have just shot him with a bullet at the beginning of the movie and spared us 87 minutes of slow torture by tedium.
As a result of this poison, Chev runs around like a maniac through L.A. trying to find an antidote for himself whilst trying to stay high on adrenaline. This is where the bad taste for this movie starts - holding emergency workers at a hospital at gunpoint whilst they try to save a sick patient, having sex with his girlfriend in the middle of a busy street in China town, showing his naked butt once too often, cutting of fingers, hands and other body parts etc etc. I did enjoy Jason Statham's early works in 'Transporter', but this movie just leaves me dazed and confused at what he is doing in it.
The acting is poor, the dialogue is mostly cursing. In fact there isn't enough time to get a decent conversation or chain of thought into this movie because it is so stuffed with gimmicky violence that all other forms of communication is lost in the mayhem.
The movie plays as if the cameraman and director were high on dope. Jerky camera movements gave me a bad case of vertigo. Certain scenes were oddly hazy and the action sequences were jumpy. The characters are mostly distasteful.
This movie may carry appeal to certain members of the audience - those who enjoy the thrill of meaningless violence that leaves a trail of destruction in its wake. This movie can be compared to the video game 'Grand Theft Auto'. For those of you who have never come across this game, its premise is mass destruction, steal and kill whoever you want, shoot them down, blow them up, run them over - this includes pedestrians, innocents and whoever gets in the way of your objectives. This is one such sorry movie.
'Crank' left me cranky that I had wasted my money on this movie ticket.
Timothy Voon
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