- If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
- If you are co dependant, please ask someone to press "2".
- If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", and "5".
- If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are manic depressive, it doesn' t matter what number you press, no one will answer.
Ceterum censeo OTF esse delendam.