Random Comments

OH, YOU DIDN'T KNOW???

Im an ASS maaaaaaaaaan.

I did, but I do actually have to make a phone call anyway.

Mall Cop was super gay.

I'm hungry

I think my gf is cheating on me.

one down, one to go

The one question I never asked, is the one question I should of.

Is it me?

I can't be sure.

Oh, no, he just took his hat off, that's not me, just some other guy.

i just got rejected from entering a movie theather because i have my 16 yr old brother with me and i'm not 25. How f**king lame

i never ask, i just do

Tiger just lit up the field to win the tournament! 😄

Forty years I been asking permission to piss. I can't squeeze a drop without say-so.

I hereby give you lifelong permission?

time to party, but are you the life of the party

please stop, one thing i would like of you before i go is i secretly want you to stop. stop it.

What a guy, what a guy, didn't spill a drop.

Slipped out and slid straight back in without using his hands.

made him a god, cause they'd never seen that before.

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

hysterical