I like how you think I make up shit.. don't matter I still have sex. Most people would but I'm addicted to sex and even tho I don't have to have it everyday I have it every other day. I don't always announce it nor do I always focus on the bad. There was that time I had chlamydia 3 times, twice in the ass once in my dik and once in my eye. Had to take pills for a month to get rid of it. See you think i make it up to fill my ego and be the big man but i rather be in a loving relationship.
I saw a sign in front of a house today: "Talking Dog for Sale."
I ring the bell and the owner tells me the dog is in the backyard. I go into the backyard and see a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" I ask.
"Sure do." the dog replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running."
"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
I'm amazed. I go back in and ask the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, "Ten bucks."
So i say, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Cause he's a ****ing liar. He didn't do any of that shit."