551 😂
OD, its this website where you can make your own online diary for people to read. I got one, vampys got one, although she hasnt updated it in ages and some friends at school have one too. I just write a load of crap in mine but last night on MSN i was talking to a school friend and i went into a rant about how christmas gets worse as you get older, christmas becomes Shitmas 😄
511 here we go, its a bit long but thats what boredom at 2am does to you 😄
after a long convo on MSN with vee, i got the chance to rant about the fact that as you get older, christmas turns to shitmas and so here is my list 😄
1)money
you give more than you receive, you pay loads out leaving you broke, and you get shitty little presents back in return, or money, usually less than you pay out on them
2)Turkeys die
You learn that thousands of turkeys die for no reason other than tradition and whoever came up with eating turkey at shitmas is a sicko, and eventually you learn that the turkey didnt give his life for your enjoyment, he had his head chopped off infront of his friends.
3) you get less presents
you get less meaning they cost more which leads back to the money problem
4) you actually have to BUY presents
no more parents buying them for you and you taking credit for them
5) trees die
stoopid pointless christmas cards, and who the hell invented a christmas tree anyway?!?! why not an eater tree or a birthday tree or a hannukah tree?!?
6) geese and other poultry die
7) you find out santas not real 🙁
8) You understand the truth about jesus
after all those nativity plays and makin an ass of yourself, you begin to understand the jesus story. a virgin had a baby in a stable while the sheep and cows looked on. you leanr from sex ed that you cant have a kid without sex so a virgin having a kid is impossible and i dont think IVF was around 2000 years ago so you learn its all a lie and you lose your faith
9) you learn that after all those years, reindeer cant fly and that your mince pie, milk and carrot all went to your parents instead
10) You gain weight cuz of all the food
cue useless dieting books and tapes from non celebrities who just want your money which means you have to pay out more money and you go bankrupt and just stay fat
11) you moan because you have to diet
12) people die
13) No snow
global warming can kiss my ass
14) Another cliff richard song and album
15) the big eastenders special which everyone goes nuts about but is a waste of time and is just a repeat of what happened last year, usually weddings 😬
16) the queens speech.. BORING...i heard marge simpsons doing it this year too, what is the world coming too?!?! GO MARGE
17) All the shops are shut
what if you run out off loo roll eh?
18) You find out that everything is cheaper AFTER christmas and not before!!!
19) carol singers
wheres the snowballs when you need them eh? well theres always the lump of coal from santa to use..o wait..SANTA DONT EXIST!!!
and finally
20) the school carol concert
a stupid excuse for a day at school, no one sings and the headmaster makes an ass of himself!
HURRAH!!
and that is why christmas turns into shitmas when you get older