And now for the truely shocking skeleton in the closet of this family - me!
Picture the scene.....
Approx. 25 years ago a fresh faced Gundy is in Britain on an student exchange course to study the difference between "The American method of producing killer cyborgs from human remains and aluminum robot parts" and "The British method of producing killer cyborgs from human remains and aluminium robot parts".
Cut scene to a young scruffy looking queeq...
Finding himself in Britain after some crazy drug session, our beloved queeq begins shipping spice around Britain in his ship. (The ship being a bread van and the spice being chinese five spice).
One drunken night these two met up in a bar and after some smooth talking from the queeqer (and lots of alcohol) the two share a night of passion. True to form, queeq high-tails it away in the morning without so much as a thank you note or a forwarding address.
Gundy, recently married to on Ronald Arthur Tixybell Cat (later known as Ratcat, later still known as RC), doesn't tell anyone about the pregnancy and has the baby in secret and leaves the child in a small Cadbury's Hot Chocolate tin outside the local parish and herself high-tails it back to the US.
24 years on I have pieced together this info after years of painstaking research. I first suspected I was thier love child after I felt an constant urge to cause Mayhem by quoting random Monty Python sketches.
The end. 😄