I'm not sure if he knows how gung-ho I am about marrying him. I think maybe we should be friends for a bit and then talk marriage, but I know he's the one.
He came over...and things were okay...he was goofing around and he flirted with my friend Darcy who was here and I felt like I'd just been kicked in the stomach and I went in the bathroom and threw up...just over him joking around. Dudes...it upset me. I was kinda snappy and annoyed after that point...and I so need to apologize to him.
He sat down with me before he left though and told me that I was an awesome woman who could do anything I set my mind on...so what was it I wanted most and he would do what he could to help me get that thing. Neaow....that was totally sweet and I felt like a jerk for being annoyed and snappy half the night.
I'm going to see him tomorrow night and apologize and talk to him and try to explain my actions. This will be fun...*sarcasm*
But dudes...he freaked me out when he jumped up and was being all perky and positive and started doing these hilarious muscleman poses... he looked exactly...and I wish I were exaggerating...EXACTLY like my ex-fiancee. My heart stopped and I just stared at him.
His birthday is the day after the day that I've always wanted to get married, but it was a barely thing...like he was born just after midnight. He's an engineer. He has a gorgeous black Jeep with a soft-top. I love his taste in clothes. He lives in a very very expensive and gorgeous apartment. My entire month's paycheck would have only made two thirds of the monthly rent there. He smells so good...hmmmm. I think he's really handsome. He's goofy, but can be serious and spiritual. He seems to understand me to the point that he knows how to cheer me up and make me smile even when I'm bitter and furious.
There is so much...GAH! He's great...and I almost could have blown it. I know I haven't though because you know how they always say...you just know when you've found him? I feel like that. Nothing prompted it...I just felt it the first time I looked in his eyes.
Oh...and I think I may be getting some new Dom pics soon...sweeeet. I'll be sure to post them here when I get them!
Awww that's so sweet, Kella!!! ✅ Ooh, do you have a pic of him that you could post? 😄 That sucks about the whole looking like the ex-fiance thing, though. Ugh. Well I really hope you two end up having something special. Best of luck to you! I found a really awesome guy too. Haha. I haven't exactly thought about marriage or anything considering I don't think I'm old enough to start thinking about marriage, but this guy's amazing. I've never met anyone so sweet and in touch with their emotions or anyone who appreciates me like he does. Oh my God, he cried! We were having a gut-spilling sessions a few days ago and it was just... wow... Seeing that was a heartbreaker. I'll post a pic if anyone wants to see him. If not, whatever. 🙂
Kella, well... didnt you just "KNOW" it (that your ex was THE ONE) when you were engaged... I was engaged once and I thought for the longest time that - this was it - there was no one or nothing else I wanted in the world... but then I woke up... and thank god i did... but we were together for about 2 yrs not one week
😮 sorry Im a little concern when you have only known this person for about a week and you have picked out about 2 -3 things you didnt like about him or freaked you out ... and who cares about all his material stuff that just seems a little glossy -
and if you do have a deep faith in God like you say isnt there that verse in the Bible about Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy,... (mainly the big point about) Love is not Jealous ... which you were being jealous about him and your friend... he probably wasnt even flirting and if you told him about your marriage plans you would probably scare him off for good. the throwing up thing was a little to extreme... I thought Id heard some extreme emotional things from you here but that was the cherry... yikes.. good luck to you 😕
Okay...when I saw my fiancee for the first time I turned to my best friend and said, "I'm going to marry him. He's going to be a great first husband for me." I knew that I would love him, but he wasn't THE ONE. I was with him though because I did love him and I needed that test. I needed to know how to learn how to love.
Yes, it was extreme to throw up, but I had eaten a corndog before he came over and I'm not supposed to eat that stuff and I have serious stomach problems and I'm trying to avoid surgery. So my stomach was weak anyway. When I thought he was flirting with Darcy it upset me (because guys always fall in love with her) and it just triggered my already weak stomach. I have spent the last few weeks throwing up...so no I'm not psycho or anything. I have an actual physical condition and when I got upset it threw my already weak stomach into overdrive.
I am not jealous or impatient. I was mostly frustrated that I know and he doesn't yet. I know it. I know he's the man I'm going to love and be with for the rest of my life. If I'm wrong may I never have love again...from any soul on this planet. I would stake my life on this. When he's right...you just know. Obviously your guy...wasn't right for the rest of your life, but was right at that time for whatever reason you had to be with him.
I've been talking to Darcy about it. Maybe I know now, while he's not interested in dating and is only interested in being friends with everyone so that I can improve the person I am and befriend him so that I can really know him before love steps in between us. Unlike my ex, I dont' think about Alan every minute ofthe day. I don't daydream about our future. Yes, those thoughts cross my mind, but they dont' possess my every thought like my ex did. I am not jealous. I dont' want Darcy to date him because she knows how I feel, but if he dates other girls I will not be angry because I know it won't work out with them. He's meant for me. I don't plan to tell him. I plan to let him tell me and then I can say, "I know. I've known since I met you." I dont' want to chase after him. I want him to come after me and I'm not ready for him yet. He's too good for me and I need to make myself into the woman I should be....the woman that deserves him.
So...😛
Hey...he's on the phone. I gotta go.
He's too good for me..if your thinking like that then you'll only end up 'worshipping him'...you seem like your in in awe with him..and it seems you only want to change to impress him cause you fell unworthy which is sad..change for yourself..cause if your not you.. there's no point..I would never change for some one it's not in my character..Anyway at least your thinking about taking it slow...so you can be more logical about what's happening..
Oh no...I'm not changing for him. I'm getting ready for being with him. This is what happened. I had a great job about 2 months ago. I needed a car so I focused all my time and money on that. I was going to go to college to get my General Studies out of the way in the fall. Then I was going to pursue a Women's Research (for women related medical issues) major in college and try to get my stuff all together.
Well, two weeks after I got my car and two weeks before I was going to go to apply for a student loan...I was laid off from my job. I've been sitting in this rut all summer trying to figure out how I'm going to make things happen. I have bills up to the ceiling and a new car to pay for. I am supposed to be helping my grandmother pay her bills and help her keep her house up. Unfortunately I can't get just any job so it's been a difficult job search.
Once I have a job and feel secure enough to go put money toward school again than I will definitely be going. None of that had anything to do with him. He just reminded me that it was what I really wanted. And it wasn't until I became an active member of my church again that I even met him...so that part of my life has nothing to do with him either. I was working to improve myself before he came along...and I will after, but his arrival in my life has given me the extra push I needed to fight my way out of this rut I'm in.
Anyways...you guys all think I'm a nut job anyway...
So think what you want. I don't really care. I know me better than you do and I know my situation and my feelings and my future better than any of you guys do so I'm not going to get into this any farther. I'm leaving it at this.
😱 omg kella girl!! im so happy for you! im so happy that you've found a man that makes you feel that way! the one.. aww that must feel amazing!well looks like love is in the air 😉kella, pt and now me 🙂this guy i've liked for so long its unbelieveable! no marriage or anything, like pip im to young for that. hes so nice to me, hes everything i could ask for *at this age 😛*, an awesome person to talk to, hes to nice for his own good, he can be trusted *i should know, i've been friends with him for about 2 years* and hes so cute 😊 hes the only guy thats ever seen me cry, and he was with me the whole way. anyways i must be off now 😛