What NOT to do on opening night! (Some spoilers)
We’re all fans of the LotR trilogy. But for those who are NOT, to survive opening night, among costume-clad fans, observe the following.
1. Do NOT stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Do NOT block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, do NOT say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. At no point during the movie, should you stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen.
4. Do NOT Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
5. Do NOT Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
6. Do NOT Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
7. Do NOT Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson." (I moderate the Matrix Forum and shall instruct my crew to behave themselves 😄)
8. When Aragorn is crowned king, do NOT stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
9. At the end do NOT, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
10. Do NOT talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, do NOT bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
11. When Shelob appears, do NOT pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
12. Do NOT dress up as an old lady and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
13. When Denethor lights the fire, do NOT shout "Barbecue!"
14. Don’t ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins
15. Every time someone kills an Orc, do NOT yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!"
16. During a wide shot of a battle, abstain from inquiring "Where's Waldo?"
17. Do not start an Orc sing-a-long.
18. Do not come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.