now naz
this is the (largely exagerated) tale of today
while reading FOTR i stumbled across a line which reminded me of luthien...it was tom bombadil finding a brooch
well me and exa needed proof so we searched the net far and wide but to no avail...there was one answer TO ASK TOLKIEN HIMSELF
presenting for your consideration a story of two unlikely heros and there firsnd on the way......it is...A LARGELY MADE UP STORY
i and exa were horrible perplexed by this question...so we decided to sail to valinor and ask tolkien himself...unfortunately we had no wood we travelled to fangorn forest and began to hack down a tree until "HROOM" treebeard appeared....."little orcs" he said and lifted us in one swipe....he began to squeeze and crush us until "hey whsts the noise were trying to eat up here" merrys head poked from under treebeards canopy...."hroom i found these little orcses hacking burning gnawing DESTROYERS AND USERP....." he began, "whoa chill there wooden man" came a softer lighter voice YES thats right aurora stumbled down from merrys hiding place,,,," i was wondering where that lipstick on merry had come from" exa whispered to me.....
"aurora" we scremed "HELP" "let them go" she cried but treebeard would not listen, so unfortunatelly he was destroyed....we then used his body as a ship with his rather small (for and ent at leasd) penis as a mast.....we sailed to valinor crfossing the sea and defeating the wrath of ulmo...his legions of irrated bowel ridden seaguls constantly pooing on us....and those fish that slap you with their tales.....but we reached valinor
As we stepped of the boat we were met by elrond halfelven he cheerily said alot of elvish i didnt understand...but for your purposes i will put everything said elvish translated in bold " hello he said [B] hello we are looking for john R R tolkien" replied Exa "right this way" he led us right to the chamber of tolien...silence fell upon us we were soon to meet with the father of fantasy...."sir i have visitors" said elrond through the door "NO THANK YOU, NO MORE WELL WISHERS RELATIVES OR LAWERS OF PEOPLE NOT IN THE FILMS YOU WANT P.J" i piped up my courage "what about fans" (knowing the answert to be a bilboish "exa, sauron...ohhhh *hug*"😉
"NO!" he yelled crushing my hopes "look old man dont make me come in there" "ohh im scared HUMAN elrond be gone with them"
exa snorted with laughter "whats elf-boy her going to do"
elrond pulled out some sunglasses and took of his skirt i mean robe to reveal a suit....."that MR. HALFELVEN TO YOU MR. sauron n friend"
" CHARGE " yelled exa......she ran but i was scared and wary...."Argh" he punched exa in the face.........."now that wasnt very nice" i said and then proceeded to kick his ass for about 30 seconds before he agent smithed me all over....he dumped our unconcious bodies in a field where i found a flax flower and gave to exa for a quick recovery.....which solved the mystery of FLAX FLOWERS
howz about that for a story