Here's Chapter 3. The parts where people are talking and it's all lower-case, they speak in a different language that was only on my computer. Usually it's the Matorians talking. It'll repeat itself afterwards.
Chapter III: Journey to Doshekk
We flew for about an hour. “Hey Tony,” Kyle muttered over the comlink. “We have someone following us.” I looked behind me. Two shuttles were gaining fast, assisted by four Matorian Missile starfighters. “Speed up. They’ll get too close to my liking if we don’t.” “Merael, what is this ship armed with?” I asked. “It has blasters, cloaking, and disruptor,” Merael answered over the comlink. “I think we should turn on the cloak. Hit the greenish button near the ignition and thrust.” I looked at Kyle’s ship, watching it crackle out of view, then did the same. “Now turn on the Laset View. We’ll be able to see each other.” I flipped the switch labeled Laset V. The viewport of the ship turned red and then normal, but I could now see the others.
“Now, hit Thrust and go towards Doshekk.” Just before Merael finished her last instruction, Electro nets flew in every direction. Suddenly, I could no longer see my partners. An Electro net had hit me. The blazing blue net sent sparks on to the ship’s skin and into its structure. Suddenly, with the sound of blaster fire, Merael order me to switch the shields to full power. I hit the black button and the net detached from the ship. I pivoted the ship around 180 degrees and saw that Merael, Laurie, and Kyle was flying away from Missile starfighters. I zoomed in and blasted a starfighter on Kyle’s tail. “Thanks Tony,” came Kyle’s grateful voice. I zoomed with Kyle towards the shuttles. “I’ll take the shuttles, you take the starfighters on the girls’ tails,” I commanded.
Kyle flew to the starfighters while I kept and course toward the two shuttles. I opened fired, nailing one shuttle in the side. Metal shattered under the strength of the blast. Three magnum nets sailed through the air at me, missing by a few feet. Lousy aim. I aimed a shot at the turret and hit a bull’s-eye, blowing the turret to pieces. Suddenly, a ship hit me, making us twirl in circles. It was a Matorian starfighter. I shot it twice, missing both times.
This is crazy, I thought. “Call off the attack! Retreat, retreat!” But it was too late. Kyle ship was caught in a magnum net. Merael was being pulled towards the larger shuttle. Laurie was sputtering her ship towards Doshekk. The last Matorian starfighter was making a flight path steadily towards her. I zoomed at the starfighter and blasted it to pieces. I even blasted the pieces to pieces. “Kyle? Kyle, come in. Kyle, are you still there? KYLE?!” I cried. But it was another too late. The net had reach his comlink, cutting all communication off from the gold-trimmed ship.
“Laurie? Are you alright?” I cried to her. “Yes...fine...Comlink...busted...Systems...failing...Going...down....” The comlink was interrupted. “This is shuttle Magnum. Surrender now or Prince Toredge will have the honor of blowing you to pieces or your friend in the other ship.” The droid’s voice was an evil, electronic buzz. I looked at Laurie’s failing ship. It started falling towards the atmosphere of Doshekk. I started to hit thrust, but a magnum net flew around me from the Magnum. “this is shuttle gulmek. you shall pay credits for all damage done to the shuttle (This is shuttle Gulmek. You shall pay credits for all damage done to the shuttle.),” came a familiar voice. “Lieutenant Sykes!” He had supposedly been destroyed with the Amok Walker Factory in the Matorian mine on Terra.
My ship started heading the other direction. “Stop it! Let me go!” I screamed. I started pounding the Thrust button. With a burst of speed and a flash of white, I tore through the net. I slammed on the breaks. I didn’t stop. “Arggg!!!” I flew through the atmosphere. I was going so fast that the ship was burning up. Soon the dense jungles came into view. A long, winding river was below me. I suddenly dropped so rapidly that I hit a tree and flipped around in circles. With a deafening smack and billows of steam, my ship hit the river and slid to the shore. Water flood up to my chin into the cockpit.
I unstrapped my safety strap and jumped out of the cockpit. Then a piercing, hiss-like shriek filled the air. I ignited my beamsword and swung around to face my foe. It was a gigantic cobra. It lunged at me and I swung the blade at it. I singed his face and the reptile turned around and fled into the jungle. “Snakes.” I headed down the river. Soon I came upon a wrecked speeder. Nearby I found a ripped up computer. I looked down the bank. As far as my eye could see I saw ripped up and destroyed technology. I found an intact computer. I switched it on.
“Welcome to Matorian Technology. Would you like English, Matorian, or Dentian?” I clicked English on the Touch-Activated screen. “You have clicked English. What would you like to know?” Suddenly, the computer shutdown. I looked at the battery check gauge. It read empty. I looked around. Everywhere I looked I saw pieces of Matorian junk, strewn around like something had hit them like a bomb, but he didn’t see any scorch marks. I walked a little farther. Soon a garnet-trimmed, smoking ship came into view. I ran to it. “Laurie! Laurie! LAURIE!” I yelped. In a flash my blade turned on and I was slashing the cockpit window open.
Laurie’s limp body was not moving at all. I took some water from the river. I spilled it on her face, suddenly jolting her upright. “Where am I?” she gasped. “You’re on Doshekk. Are you all right?” “I’m fine. Get me out of this wreck.” I began to lift her out of the wreckage of the garnet-trimmed Asteroid Blaster, when a blaster bolt soared through the air and blew some of the garnet trim and metal off the wing. “You are under arrest by command of Toredge. Please put your hands in the air and drop you weapons.” A droid was aiming his arm cannon viciously at us. Behind him were General McCeelon and Major Bllat, aiming rifles and cannons at us. I set Laurie down on the mushy, swampy ground. She got up immediately.
She took out her blade and the violet light came from the handle. I took out mine and ignited the sky blue blade and began the attack. The droid started firing at me. Bzz! Bzz! Cush! Violet bolts flew back and forth. The droid had ignited a crimson blade. Suddenly a giant orange bolt flew towards me, fired from Major Bllat’s bazooka. Laurie swung the sword and bounced the blast back, scorching the ground next the Bllat. Bllat was startled and dropped his bazooka fell in the river. McCeelon was readying a seeker when Laurie sliced the rifle in half. McCeelon raised his arms and yelled “To arms! To arms!” With loud war cries about five Matorian soldiers jumped from the bushes and started firing.
I was locked in a sword battle with the droid. I fumbled on the wet ground, waiting for the droid to deliver the winning blow. But, in a flash of sparks, the robot’s head fell off its body. Laurie had smote off the robot’s head. It dropped the sword, which thudded on the ground and sunk into the mud. I jumped to my feet and deflected a blast from hitting Laurie. It flew at McCeelon, whom was a prisoner of Laurie. One army member jumped in harm’s way, then fell to the ground dead and into the murky water.
I slashed at two more. Both fell at my feet in half. The Laurie spared a second to slice the head off of another. Bllat and the last soldier ran back towards the bushes. I shot the soldier, but Bllat fled, supposedly back to the Matorians camp to tell Toredge. Suddenly, Laurie fell over from one of McCeelon’s famous Matorakkso Trips. He ran after Bllat.
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Everyone was sitting around, waiting for Bllat, McCeelon, and the other five to come back. With a few shouts, McCeelon and Bllat burst through the bushes. “Toredge! They survived their crashes! I don’t think they’ll be taking off in their ships though,” yelled Bllat. “I think we should set a trap for them. They’ll do anything to save there friends, right?” McCeelon planned to himself. “Right. Take the girl and the cop to the temple,” ordered Toredge. “The temple?! Isn’t it haunted?” yelled one army man. “Yes, but that’s the trap. I have a amulet that will protect us. We’ll put them deep in the temple. Then hide them. When they all arrive, they’ll never see the light of day again.”
Matorakkso is the true name of the Matorians. I named them Matorians for short.
I DO have this habit of putting people I know in my stories. Edna rather liked the fantasy version of her!
(Not THAT sort of fantasy, queeq)
Rex, it is my experience that people do not like making public comments on unfinished work; it's difficult to fully relate to the material. I'll PM you a coupe of comments if you want.
I agree....better to make positive comments and constructive criticism in private. Thats what I do with Ush.
As for Machine, my complete sympathies. Being 38 years old now, let me offer you a piece of advice. I only dated guys who DIDN'T go to my high school. So when things didn't work out (as was inevitable) you didn't have to deal with still seeing them around all the time-or worse, with another girl, whilst you are suffering double humiliation. Follow me ?