Originally posted by Lord Soth
Too asy of a wuestion: When you've found the right person and you think you're ready
but the right person can still turn out to be hell on two feet...and no one, no matter who you are, is never really ready even up to when you've said I do...marriage is such a big commitment that straddles a thin line...
fall either way and you go...BANG!!! that hurts...
and all the advice in the world will not do you good because everyones opinions are varied and many...some agree while others do not...
of this i will say...do not let your heart decide for you, because it can mislead...and your brain becomes full of information that it can get overloaded...
afterall...imo marriage is a legal document that binds two parties that brings about financial, emotional, and physical benefits...that document creates the institution of marriage not what two people will feel for one another...
by all means get married if it's something you want to do, not because you have to...or need.
the difference in that is that having or needing a thing is never the same as wanting...
No idea. Everyone must find for himself. But I think it is essencial to try to have a common life first - in the same house four at least one year before marry. It will help both of you to find if you were made to share a married common life with each other bcs there it is usual to discouver that that person you marrid it is not what you think it was after living under the same ceiling, and sometimes no mather how long you know each other.
So, try first to live together before marry.
I am not an apologist of it. But maybe some day I change my mind 🙄
Originally posted by Corlindel
No idea. Everyone must find for himself. But I think it is essencial to try to have a common life first - in the same house four at least one year before marry. It will help both of you to find if you were made to share a married common life with each other bcs there it is usual to discouver that that person you marrid it is not what you think it was after living under the same ceiling, and sometimes no mather how long you know each other.So, try first to live together before marry.
I am not an apologist of it. But maybe some day I change my mind 🙄
i've always thought that that was a misconception..."let's live together to see if we can get along before we marry"...it's been shown that when a couple live together and marry later don't always stay married...
marriage like a said imo should not be something that is tested by cohabitation...that in of itself will more than likely cause a breakup, because then you're most definately looking for faults...when two are not married, there are no reasons to stay together...
but in marriage, if two people are committed to the relationship, they will find a way to work the issues they have together to keep the marriage strong and alive as long as they love each other.
I dont see that cohabitation as a test or to look for faults. I think of it as a marriage already.
In your perspective - thinking of living together as a test - It is better to stay in their own homes and nreak up everything. It is a signe that they dont love each other. Looking for faults never. just let people live their life.
i dont think there is a right or wrong age to get married . it depends on each couples situation . ppl who get married around 30 or 40ish have a chance of splitting up just as much as someone in their 20s . if you have found the right person , then it will work . if not , then it wont . personally i got married when i was 16 ( no i wasnt pregnant ) . i am 30 now . we have 4 beautiful girls & just celebrated our 14th anniversery . maybe we are an exception , i dunno . what i do know is every body is diferent & 25 may work for some ppl . others may not be ready till 50 . my youngest daughter is 4 years old & if all goes well , she'll be off to college in 14 years . i'll be 44 years old . my husband 46 years old , it will then be our time to sit back & sigh or party .
Get married when you are old enough, mentally not physically.
Get married for love not lust, so do not jump into it too quickly or early in a relationship or you may find that once the dust settles it was just lust and not love.
There's nothing wrong with living together before you get married just to check that you can actually live together.
Don't get married to someone just because of a pregnancy because if you do not truly love that person then you will be potentially bringing a child up in a relationship not founded on love but on necessity this is not a good environment for a child and for happiness.
Don't marry your cousin - that's just wrong, look at our royal family for prrof.
Linkalicious> Do you really think you can plan it like that? Who says you find the right person around 27/28, that that person WANTS to have children, and that you, career-wise, wants to have kids at 30??
Getting married at 17-19 is down-right scary. Children having children and getting married will lead to one thing> A feeling that life went by, divorces, single parents and what have you.
Tex has a point. WHY get married? What's the idea? You can't forsee the future, and marriage is no protection against either party falling in love with some one else further down the road.
If marriage is supposed to be for life - then don't ever get married, because you can't predict the future.
If it's a way of making a party and some formal commitment around the relationship - does it matter? You can always get a divorce later on 😄
Well, me personaly, never. I am not going to get married, piece of paper doesnt decide or declare my love for someone.
I cant really answer when people should get married, everyone to their own, but like The Omega said, getting married at such an early age is scary. People at 17, 18 and 19 are in a sense still children.
Im a kid 😮 being 19 and all.
marriage is just a piece of paper, but it does show that you are willing to commit to a person, admittedly it's easier now to get divorced so this may not ring true, but some people require that extra step to show the commitment, and you get to get new clothes and have a massive party where your in-laws will end up fighting, how can you forego that free entertainment?
Re: When should a person get married?
Originally posted by The Alpha
Give your opinions with arguments.
I don't think anyone should get married until they are able to support themselves and their spouse. I think they should complete college and be atleast a year into their careers before they even think about it.
Corran> 😆
Well, I suppose we humans like to have some “markers” in our life. Some buoys on the sea of the future, as a good friend of mine once called the things we look forward to. Even if we never get married, the “marriage-marker” is something to home in on, on a very big ocean, like graduating, getting the cool job, maybe having kids, visit “those” places, and other things on “the list of things I want to do before I die”.
Whether or not it’s easy to get a divorce, most people DO get married (at least once). So when one human tries to figure out what it’s LIKE to be “a” human, he/she can look at the rest of the species and say “well, they usually hook up with a partner and throws a big party.”
…
I get the distinct feeling I’m no longer making sense. Damn evolution thread. 😄
I got married at 24, after living with my gf for 6 years.... we had a baby when i was 24... If we'd waited till we "could afford" kids I would never have had the joy of my son... then two years ago, wham! I realised that I was doing all the trying in our marriage, and my wife was staying in bed all day, and refusing to do anything about any problems we had... after having the same row every day for two years, with her promising to try to sort things out but never doing anything, we got divorced, and I ended up a single dad... we asked my son, who was 7, who he wanted to live with, and he chose dad, cos dad was the one who'd changed nappies, fed, and played with him... The last two years have been great... but it just goes to show, sometimes the right person is wrong, and you can never tell until a few years down the line... if both of you are willing to work at it fine... if not.... marry when you feel like it, but be prepared to learn....
You should get married when you and are both mentally and financially stable in my opinon.
Unfortunately some people don't see it that way, they find someone they think is hot. And decided they've found their one true love. I have a friend, who actually just got married last month. She's 15, younger then me by about half a year. In my opinion (not to be mean to her) but I think that's pretty stupid. If she's already married now, imagine she'll be divorced by the time she's in her early twenties.
Two points:
1) Somebody said something about not getting married too young so you can enjoy your social life. That's true, but sometimes the social life is too hard to let go of. Take me for example, I'm 28, been with the same girl for 2-1/2 years, and am hesitant on committing to marriage based on complete social reconstruction once we tie the knot.
2) Saying you will get married by age "25 or 26" or whatever the age isn't fair to yourself. That's setting a goal and if you reach that age and don't feel with you're with the right person, some people will get married to them anyways because of the age goal they set for themselves and the fear of not finding anyone else because they are getting older.