Welllllllllllllll BELLADONNA!!!! lol, i have returned from the beach my FAVORITE RINGERS AND MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! But i have to go at 10, FOR NOW, because mom wants the computer, GRR! but ill be on tomorrow, posting like crazy! Here, OB FILES, my board, OB FILES school board and broe lovers, im gonna be posting like CRAZY at tomorrow! Catch up with everything! WEEEEE! Im back! has everyone been good? miss me? of course!
This is STILL on the same page? Wtf? Quickly--I need random spam to fill the gap between this page and the nex!!!
Aaaaah! Nothing comes to my mind! Nothing comes to my mind! NOTHING! IT BURNS!!! It freezes us, it burnses, yes it does, precious!
Wait, that's spam right there. And I've got more!
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WHY GOLLUM IS THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE LORD OF THE RINGS:
by FeceMan
In this rather shoddy essay, I'll do my friggin' best to explain to you--the reader--why Gollum is possibly THE best character in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Why, you might ask, is he the best? Well, that's what I intend to answer--the question of "Why is Gollum the best character in the Lord of the Rings triology?"
Simply put, Gollum is a fantastic character. What with the dual-personality bit, his "precious", the ability to climb things, and inability to tolerate Elvens things all put him at the top of the list. Though he lived in a cave, Gollum developed good social skills and is a great conversationalist. He talks to himself to practice. He also mumbles to himself occasionally, and, once in a while, is heard having a dialogue when a monologue would be more appropriate. Yes, talks to himself he does. That's where he says things to himself, you know.
Another reason Gollum is good is because he symbolizes Jesus. Yes, you read correctly, Jesus. At the end of the Return of the King, Gollum sacrifices himself to save Frodo from the Ring. As Frodo finally falls to the Ring's temptation, Gollum leaps forth and bites off Frodo's finger, falling into Mount Doom to destroy the One Ring once and for all. Doing so, he completely annihilates his body due to the extreme temperatures and the burning with the heat. As he nears the bottom, Gollum also burts into flames and, due to said flames and the temperature of the inside of Mount Doom--which is a volcano, and, OBVIOUSLY, is very hot...so obviously, in fact, it goes without saying--Gollum's body turns into ashes before being consumed by the lava. Why is there lava at the bottom of Mount Doom? It's a volcano!
Lastly, Gollum is a friend to all. He jests with Sam all the time and he admires Sam's cooking. Sam's a good cook because he's a Hobbit, and Hobbits are portly by nature. Therefore, cooking and other culinary arts, such as baking or the preparation of meals, are considered artforms to the Hobbits. Anyway, Gollum befriends Frodo and does his best to get along with Sam, so he's a good guy. And he gave Bilbo the Ring as a joke, but that bastard just took it too far and had to get addicted to it. So Gollum tried to get it back, but the Orcs captured him and tortured him. Those...those....those MEANIES! What's NOT to like about Gollum? I think it's just because Orcs have a naturally poor temperment and are prone to bouts of anger, cruelty, malice, malevolence, non-niceness, de-benevolence, and generalized hatred. That's all because of their naturally poor temperment, you know. With their naturally poor temperment, they can be quite vicious.
So that's why Gollum is the best character in the Lord of the Rings trilogy!
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Nifty, eh?
cry
Originally posted by Melkórë
Do that, then I could learn Gaelic.
Originally posted by Tex
I'd like to remind [b]everyone that bickering, bashing, mocking, name calling, insulting others and arguing are not allowed.
If this thread continues to progress like it has for the past 20+ pages, it will be closed! [/B]
Originally posted by Nienna
Oh oh oh Arschloch!
Originally posted by Nienna
I've made mistakes, my Ravenheart!
Originally posted by Sauron
666 THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST
Originally posted by Sauron
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
Originally posted by Nienna
clap
Originally posted by Sauron
guess what montross, exa went away on holiday, which as horrible as that is, has one minor pro. Nobody is here to stop me mocking you
(sorry too many smilies in this post... *cuts some out*)