An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
A kindergarten teacher is teaching her class to use big people words. So she asks Sally what she did on the weekend and Sally said she rode a choo choo. "No" the teacher says, "A train. Use big people words." She asks Jack what he did and he said he visited his mama. "No" she said, "Your grandmother. Use big people words. " She asked Billy what he did and he said he read a book and she said "Great. What was the book called, and remember to use big people words." Billy thinks for a while and finally answers, "Winnie the Shit."