JUST back from seeing king arthur, getting there
-----xspoilersx------
Right, the battle
for the first part, arthur rides out thiking hes a god of some sort and the saxon king picks up on this and says that he is just flesh and blood
So arthur gets all pissy and says 'mark my face, for the next time you see it, it will be the last thing you see on this earth'
Which is like...words from a nightwish song or something...
So, arthur goes back into the castle place....and the saxon king guy say arthur is sombody worth killing.....why kill sombody worth something? oh well never mind
Annnnyway
a lil later the saxon king sends his sons shitty army into the castle, arthur gets the doors to close and then keira knightley comes on with all her mates, and totally just kicks so much ass with arrows.....i would love to arrow her 😉
Anyway, my memories a bit fuzzy on this bit because keira is in that little top, so i had a jaket over my lap just like aaron...sooo then they all bend over and get their shilds out.
They all die though and keira looks all hot and sweaty which btw is such a good look for her.
Then the entire saxon army come in, and get arrowed some more and then keira charges at them with all her mates, and arthur comes along with his knights
Theres a big fight and the knights are taking no shit.
They all fight and alot of people you never see in the film before this get dramatic deaths.
Then lancelot comes along and is fighting away lots of random pointless extras and keira is toally checking him out, and hes thinking something like 'i would love to sho her my weapon'
So, keiras like 'i would love to see his weapon'
When an arrow flies into lancelot
and hes all like 'look, im boromir, slow death by arrow!'
and keira does a merry and pippin by slowing the camera down and attacking people.
Then the guy who shot the arrow turns out to be princesaxon, and lancelots thinking 'hey, she never saw my weapon'
so he throws his sword at saxon prince guy
who dies like hector, so hes pleased
Then, the weird knight whos all dark and handsome gets smashed to bits of saxon king, who doesnt know his sons dead....
and he gets killed while arthur is watching, arthur runs over to saxon king
while keira fights some guy who looks like the bad guy out of mulan
she just loses so this other hot woman runs and fights him too
and they are both jumping on him
i along with every male in the cinema was thinking 'what a lucky guy!'
So, then arthu and saxon fight and arthur cheats, saxon has him beat until arthur stabs him in the balls and then turns around and cuts his chest open
poor saxon guy tries to say 'arthur' but it comes out 'argghh'
unless he was trying to say arrggh which you would if you had just been stabbed..so i dunno
Then the battle is won and theres a wedding scene with keira who is wearing a wedding dress (did they have them then) and arthu weearing the same clothes that he ALWAYS does
So then marlin comes on looking like hes done something worthwhile
which he hast
he didnt even fight.
And he marries them, they kiss and arthur does his quote
and raises his sword and everyone loves him
then bors does the same but nobody listens so his son hits him, then he rags his son about
then alot of archers fire flaming arrows into the sea.
Now, brtiain has just been saved, i dont think killing our aquatic wildlife contributes to that...so then the film ends
there was no 'there was no aquatic wildlife hurt while filming'
so i repeat
Dont see this film
give the ticket money to Seaworld charities.....please.....for the trouts!