I hope you don't mean that 🙁
being suicidal and depressed won't help none--you're just running away. And don't think I'm just saying that; I've been there myself many times, but I always found something to keep me from carrying it out. Once, it was my dog cry my kriffing dog stopped me from going over the edge!!
Ying, I know it hurts, w/e it is, but just give it time, and in hindsight, it won't seem nearly as bad.