This guy at a party tried to fight me with two of his friends, but I out smarted them. Every time one of them would go to hit me, I'd pretend like I was going to hit them at the same time, but then at the last second I'd turn and hit one of the friends. That was the first fight I ever got into. They all backed off and then I went home and then they woke my friend up at his house to find out where I lived so they could shoot me with paintball guns, but my friend didn't tell them where I lived. Suckers!
Another time this guy was pissed at me because I wouldn't let him drive my work car drunk, the idiot. So he started choking me through my car door, so with all my might and pissed off anger I opened my door, wrestled him off me, then kicked his ass in self defense. That's it.