Everyone post your good jokes here!

Anyone have some fun humor to donate to the forum?

Maverick and lkotbr33 are adrift in a lifeboat after their ship sank in the sea. Cleaver sees an old bottle floating along beside the boat, so he grabs it and pulls out the cork. Suddenly, a fairy pops out, saying she will grant the pair a wish for releasing her.

Without giving it much thought, Maverick shouts "I wish the ocean was turned into beer!" Immediately, the fairy claps her hands and dissapears in a puff of smoke, and the entire sea turns into a fine pale ale. Only the sound of the beer gently lapping against the side of the boat breaks the silence.

lkotbr33 looks at Maverick with disgust, and after a long tension-filled moment, shouts "You f****** idiot! Now we have to pee in the boat!"

*drags silver away from the thread before she even sees it*

lol

Originally posted by dave123
*drags silver away from the thread before she even sees it*

That's some Pretty Funny Stuff Right there! (no offence Irene...

shes not even on kmc

Furball, MadTpot and a Cleaver were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and Furball said "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
MadTpot opened his lunch box and exclaimed "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.
Cleaver opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day - Furball opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.
MadTpot open his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too.
Cleaver opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral - Furballs´s wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"
MadTpot´s wife also weeps and says "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at Cleaver´s wife. "Hey, don't look at me" she said. "He makes his own lunch!"

I ain't reading that

*WARNING* the following joke contains strong language, violence and strong sexual references and should not be viewed by anyone. Thankyou.

once there was this guy sinking in quicksand. he was up to his knees and was starting to panic. a traveller walked past, and the guy called out 'please help me dude im sinking here!' the traveller says 'okay but only if you squeeze my ass' the man goes 'eew no way you sick head!' so the traveller walks off.

a few minutes later, another traveller walks past. the guy is now up to his waist in quicksand, 'please man help me out here!' the traveller goes 'i will if you squeeze my ass' and the guy goes 'no f**kin way what is with you people???' so the traveller walks off.

almost half an hour later, the man is now up to his neck in quicksand, and a third traveller walks past. the guy cries out 'oh for the love of god help me! i'll do anything...i'll squeeze your ass dammit!!!!

and the third traveller walks up to the man, and stomps on his head until he is completely submerged in quicksand shouting 'you filthy, dirty son of a bi*tch!!! you will not touch my ass dammit!!!'

Originally posted by Dregh
I ain't reading that

ROFLMAO!!!

lol

ok theres 3 gay guys going around and they kill somebody in there jeep, then one day a cop pulls them over for speeding and finds out its the killers, so they all go to court and the judge asked the first gay guy "What were you doing on this date?" the guy goes "I was blowing bubbles" then the 2nd guy goes up and says the same thing, then before the third guy could say anything the judge goes "let me guess, you were blowing bubbles" then the gay guy goes "no, I am bubbles" 😱

😂....