I have an idea, run into the shop shouting "AAAARGH THERE IS AN EVIL MAN OUTSIDE AND HE'S ZAPPING PEOPLE WITH RAY GUNS!" and then when they run out to have a look, throw the cream cakes on the ground and take bites out of the rolls, THEN sit cross legged until something is done and if they still dont see to your demands THEN say about the psychological harm etsetera