Funny POTC Story

Found this at FanFiction and thought I would share it with ya all LOL

Chapter1: Will Gets Wiggy With It

One day in Port Royal, it was Governor Swanns B-Day, and Elizabeth couldn’t decide on what to go and get her father for a B-Day present... Elizabeth and Will were out shopping for a gift...

Elizabeth: Will, what should I get for my father???

Will: I don’t know, I’m not his kid...

Elizabeth: Must you make an unnecessary remark??? (Looks around...) Will???

Will had stopped by at some store and was looking through the window... Elizabeth had found him staring through the window...

Will: Ooh... I always wanted one of these!!!

Elizabeth: You aren’t getting one of those!!!

Will: But I want to go and look like all of the other rich people around here...

Elizabeth: Will, you look better without one, and besides, I like your hair...

Wills face had turned to disappointment... Elizabeth had looked through the window and had asked Will...

Elizabeth: (Sighs...) Which one do you want Will???

Will: (Starts jumping up and down...) I want that one Elizabeth!!!

The two had went inside the shop... They had went to the counter and a clerk was their...

Clerk: Oh, the Governors Daughter, I haven’t seen you since your father had gotten his last wig here!!! And looks how much you’ve grown!!! So, what can I do for you???

Elizabeth: We came to buy a wig...

Clerk: Well yeah of course, this is a wig shop Y’know... So which one do you want to get???

Will: (Points out childishly...) That one sir...

The Clerk had looked at the wig that Will was pointing at, but then he had let out a gasp of fright, and then a frightened look appeared on his face!!! Elizabeth had raised an eyebrow, but Will was too busy staring at the damn thing... The Clerk had looked at Elizabeth and had shooken his head...

Clerk: You don’t want that wig... It has a curse on it!!!

Will: (Turns around...) What do you say???

Clerk: I didn’t say anything of what so ever...

Will: Okay (Turns back around...) Whatever...

Clerk: (Looks at Elizabeth and starts whispering to her...) You can’t be serious Elizabeth...

Elizabeth: Is there really a curse to it???

Clerk: There is... A long time ago, this wig had used to be owned by a Pirate, but not just by any Pirate... He was a really bad Pirate, who just loved stealing things, but he was so fascinated by wigs for some reason...

Elizabeth: Sounds odd...

Clerk: Quiet indeed... One day, the Pirate came in here and wanted to rob me, but then he got so happy, cause of the wigs here... I then ran out of the shop and had called for Norrington and the rest of the guards... I had went back into the shop and the Pirate had on that wig that you wanted to buy, and then he ran out of the shop with it on and then Norrington had caught him... As they were taking him away, I knew that I was forgetting something, but I said the hell with it... The next day he was hanged and then I remember something, once Norrington had came to me with something in his hands...

Norrington: I found your wig sir... Unfortunately, the Pirate was hanged in it, but hey, what can you do???

Elizabeth: Then what happened???

Clerk: I had taken back the wig and nobody has dared to ask me if they want to go and buy, until today...

Will: (Turns back around...) How much is it???

Clerk: Since it’s cursed and all and it’s rare to find a cursed wig, I’d say about... Some odd shillings???

Will: Is the number 1???

Clerk: Indeed it is boy!!!

Will: YAY!!!! Two points for me!!!

The Clerk had went to the window and had picked up the cursed wig and had put it on the counter, but then Will ran to the counter and tried to grab for it... Elizabeth had put her hand in Wills face, but he kept on trying to grab for it still...

Clerk: (Looks at Elizabeth...) So will that be gift wrapped???

Elizabeth: Yes and make it quick...

The Clerk had went in the back room with the wig... Elizabeth had put her hand down, and Will started to cry... The Clerk came back with a box wrapped up with a tie on the top... Will had taken the box and said...

Will: Oh thank you Elizabeth, for getting me my B-Day present!!!

Elizabeth: Your B-Day has already passed you fool!!!

Will: Ah damn it...

Elizabeth: (Rolls her eyes...) Fine, you can go and carry it, but nothing else...

Will: YAY!!!!

Elizabeth: (Looks at the Clerk...) Thank you very much... Good-bye...

Clerk: Have a wonderful day Elizabeth...

As the two walked out the store, the Clerk had started scratching his head...

Clerk: It seems as if I forgot to go and tell them something... Oh well, I’ll just figure it out later...

Chapter2: You Almost Caught Captain Jack Sparrow!!!

Meanwhile, we find The Black Pearl porting in Port Royal... Jack had walked off his Ship and was walking on the docks, until some guards had stopped him...

Murtogg: Jack, you’re not suppose to come back!!!

Mullroy: Yeah, Commodore Norrington said so...

Jack: (Takes out something from his pocket and gives it to them...) Read of yer selves lads...

Murtogg: You have been tricked by...

Mullroy: Captain Jack Sparrow???

The two had looked at each other, while Jack was running away from them... The two had turned around...

Murtogg: Hey!!! He tricked us and he‘s getting away!!!

Mullroy: Let’s catch him, and then we both get to go and kick his ass!!!

Murtogg: Yeah, and not Commodore Norrington

The two had taken off... Meanwhile, Jack was still running and when he had turned his head to look...

Jack: AH CRAP!!!! (Turns head back around...) They’re gaining on me... (Still running, but in his mind thinking...) How should I lose these two dorks... Hmm...

Jack had looked around after he did that, he had ran into Commodore Norrington!!! The two had fallen on the ground and Jack had gotten up, and had helped Commodore Norrington to get up...

Norrington: (Eyes are closed and starts dusting off dirt from himself, while talking to Jack...) Thanks for helping me get up, I could’ve sworn that I ran into Jack Sparrow, but...

Jack had ran off, before Commodore Norrington could finish up... Mullroy and Murtogg were still running, and then...

Mullroy: Don’t just stand there and let the idiot get away!!!

Norrington: (Opens his eyes...) WHAT????!!!!

Mullroy had ran right into Norrington and Murtogg had finally caught up with the two...

Norrington: (Gets up and is very upset and looks at Mullroy...) HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO, AND THEN YOU RUN INTO ME LIKE THAT!!!!!

Mullroy: I’m so sorry, but Jack Sparrow has slipped out, and you could’ve taken him in...

Murtogg: But if he did that, then we wouldn’t get to go and kick his ass!!!

Norrington: (Looks at the two...) What’s with you people and kicking asses???

Mullroy: For one thing, you always get your men...

Murtogg: Two is that, we never do...

Norrington: And this affects me how???

The two had looked at each other with blank expressions on their faces... They had looked back at Norrington...

Norrington: That’s what I thought... (Turns around and starts running for Jack and looks back at the two...) If you two don’t mind, I’ll catch him in no time, and I’ll get to go and kick his ass!!!

Mullroy and Murtogg: HEY, THAT’S NO FAIR!!!!!!!!!!

The two had started running to catch up to Norrington... Meanwhile, Jack is still running and then he ran into Will and Elizabeth...

Jack: Oh so sorry you guys, but you wouldn’t mind if I stayed at your place???

Elizabeth: I don’t know if father would like that...

Will: Guess what Jack... Today’s her fathers B-Day!!!

Jack: Good, then that means there’s going to be drinks all around!!!

Will: Ooh, can Jack please stay with us???

Elizabeth: I’ll ask father, once we give him his B-Day present...

Norrington: There he is!!!

Mullroy and Murtogg: Lets get him!!!!!!

Jack: (Looks back then at the two...) Look, act natural and Elizabeth, quickly right up and invitation...

Elizabeth: Don’t need to, I already got one here...

Norrington had gotten to the three and had grabbed the back of Jacks collar... Mullroy and Murtogg had finally gotten to them...

Mullroy: Ah damn, he’s been caught!!!

Murtogg: And that means that we can’t go and kick his ass...

Norrington: Yes, and this means that I do though... (Starts laughing evil...) HA HA HA HA!!!!

Jack: Uh Commodore, you might want to go and reconsider not going to go and kick my ass...

Elizabeth had handed Norrington the Invitation and had read... When he had gotten done, he started pouting and jumping up and down!!! Then he fell to the ground and was kicking and pounding the ground, just like a little kid who fusses...

Norrington: THAT’S NO FAIR!!!! I WANTED TO GO AND KICK HIS ASS, SO BADLY!!!! (Gets back and brushes off dirt from himself, then looks at everyone and then smiles at them...) Let this be a lesson to you all that... This was almost the day that I almost caught, CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!!!!

But wait there is more

Chapter3: Pirating Norrington's Good Suit

Norrington starts laughing and runs away from them, but he then ran into a post!!! He had gotten up and had ran off laughing again... Murtogg and Mullroy had tooken off as well towards Norrington... The three had confused looks on their faces...

Jack: I wonder what the hell that was about...

Will: I think that he's been around Jack too long... (Starts smiling...) Hmm... Wiggy...

Jack: (Looks at Will...) Wiggy??? He sounds familiar... (Thinks for abit...) Nope, never heard of him...

Elizabeth: (Looks at Jack...) That's just fathers B-Day present... We got him a wig...

Will: I thought that you bought it for me!!!

Jack: What the hell is wrong with him???

Elizabeth: He wanted a wig, but I told him that it was for my father...

Will: Why can't you just go back to the wig shop, and buy a different one for your father???

Elizabeth: Oh, forget what the hell that I just said, okay???

Will: (Smiles off...) Yeah, I thought so...

The two had looked at Will... He was hugging the present and was talking to it... Jack had a raised eyebrow and then he looked at Elizabeth...

Jack: When did he started acting like this???

Elizabeth: Ever since he had spotted that wig out, and then we bought it, for only a shilling...

Jack: A shilling it cost??? Must be cursed then...

Will: Is it really cursed???

Jack: Uh... Just go back to hugging it, Savvy???

Will: (Smiles and goes back to hugging it...) I'll never ever let you go without a fight...

Elizabeth: Well, we better get to the party, before Will tries to open the box...

Jack: Right, but I've got to go and do something really quick... I'll meet you guys later at the party...

Jack had ran off... Will and Elizabeth walked off to the Governors Mansion... Minutes had passed by... Meanwhile, we find Jack sneaking into Commodore Norringtons Mansion... Commodore Norrington was taking a bath and his clothes were in his Bedroom... Jack had went past the bathroom door and had snuck inside Norringtons Bedroom... He then "Pirated" Norringtons clothes and had started putting them on... Norrington had gotten done taking a bath and he had a towel wrapped around him and he had went to his Bedroom door and had opened it... Norrington was in shock to see Jack with his clothes...

Norrington: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY WHOLE GOOD SUIT ON????!!!!

Jack: (Looks around, and walks behind Norrington and then looks at him with a smile...) I'm leaving...

Jack had ran off and had ran out of the Mansion... Norrington had looked out of the window and had seen Jack making his way to the Governors Mansion...

Norrington: That Ass-Hole... He's going to pay dearly for this...

Norrington had walked to his bed and had sat on it... He had looked around and had noticed that...

Norrington: Well, well, well... So Jack Sparrow left his clothes here... He wouldn't mind if I "borrow" them for awhile...

Norrington had picked up Jacks clothes and had went back to the bathroom...

Thats it....

The only part i read of that is Funny potc story....ill read it l8er...so...tired.....eh not really

Meh?? I was bored so that was da only reason I posted it.

Will falls in love witha wig!!!! WEIRDO!!

lol. in luv with a wig. he had such gorgeous hair tho. and god you made him sound like a 3 year old

I didn't rite it I found it If I was 2 write one I would make Will act like a 2 year old LOL 😄

oo000oooo a 2 YEAR OLD!!! 😱 😱 😱 lol.

i like em young 😉

LOL 😆

hola buenos dias!!

Meh What does that mean

Will - Question? How can we sail to an island, when nobody knows the bloody way, with a compass that doesn't point North?

Gibbs - Aye, but we're not trying to find North. . .wait a sec. . .did you just swear?

Will - *mutters* picked it up from Liz.

Gibbs - *to Jack* should we throw the whelp over board?

Jack - we can stand him a bit longer.

Gibbs - What's in your head, that's put you in such a good mood, cap'n?

Jack - Cocktail's gonna give me some of his umbrellas!!

Gibbs : Not a lot is known about Jack Sparrow before he showed up in Tortuga with a mind to go after the treasure of the Isla de Muerta . That was before I was born. . .

Will - *sniggers* yeah right!!

Gibbs - *clears throat, angrily* Back when he was Captain of the Black Pearl.

Will - So that's the reason for all the *does Jack impression*

Gibbs - *starts laughing his head off!* Reason got nought to do wit' it! Now Will, when a pirate is remooned he is given a pistol wit' one shot, not much good really for shooting or to be rescued, but after a few minutes o' a starving belly an' thirst, that pistol starts to look real friendly. . .catch me drift?

Will - Oh my god. . .you're not saying Jack is a ghost. . .

Gibbs - *hits head with hands* No, believe it or not. Now Jack still has that one shot. . .and he won't use it on anyone save one man. . .his mutinous first mate!

Will - Hey, that explains why he didn't shoot me at the beginning. . .

Gibbs - Yes, we worked that out hours ago.

Will - Barbossa.

Gibbs - Aye.

Will - How did Jack get off the island?

Gibbs - Well, he hitched a ride on the back o' a couple of sea turtles that just happened to be going in the same direction. . .

Will - Sea Turtles?

Gibbs - Aye, taxi Sea Turtles. . .

Will - What did he pay wit'?

Jack - A whale bone, from me head. . .let go o' the anchor.

Jack - Young Mr. Turner and I are to go ashore.

Gibbs - Captain! What if the worst should happen?

Jack - Keep to the code.

Gibbs - Aye, the code.

Jack - Yeah, the code that's what I said.

Gibbs - *nods* the code. . .*Gollum's voice*

was with this fread. man all the olando lovers come here. im gorn.

Haha this is good stuff I hafta find my random thing

Jack - Ah, where's the whelp?

Liz - Who?

Jack - Will.

Liz - Oh that whelp. Will!

Will - Liz. . .

*silence*

Will - *cough* Erm. . .Jack?

Jack - Aye?

Will - It's your line. . .

Jack - Which one? Will - The one you have been saying wrong through the whole film, where this is where you're supposed to say it.

Jack - ^_^ MONKEY!!

Barbossa - Why thank you Jack.

Jack - *evils* You're so not welcome.

Barbossa - Not you we named the monkey Jack.

Jack - *grins* What a coincidence! The pig Gibbs sleeps on is called Barbossa.

Barbossa - Really?

Jack - Well, no. We were going to, but the pig didn't like the name. . .

*BANG* Ship blows up.

Pintel - If any o' you so much as thinks the word Parley I'll have your guts for garters.

Crew - PARLEY!!

Ragetti - *scared look* Oh shit, what do we do now?

Liz - Oh Will, Will, come and save me.

Jack - Will's dead.

Will - Think again.

Ragetti - Hey, that's just like Spiderman!

Pintel - This doesn't happen in Spiderman.

Jack - Shush! Some o' us haven't seen it yet.

Will - *cough* Hello? You've messed up my dramatic entrance!

Jack - You call that dramatic?! Pcsh. . .not half as good as mine at the beginning.

Will - Coming in on a sunken piddly little boat. . .

Annamaria - That piddly little boat was mine! And what do you mean sunken!!??

Barbossa - Oh I've had enough of this, kill 'em all.

Will - She goes free!

Barbossa- That's more like it. Hey boy don't point that gun at me! You could have somebody's eye out.

*Ragetti covers face with a wimper*

Will - She goes free!

Jack - Do something incrediably stupid that's going to kill us all.

Liz - *turns to him*

Jack - *shrugs* he never listens to me anyway.

Barbossa - You've only got one shot, an we can't die. Unless the whole movie plot has somehow escaped your notice. . .

Jack - That wouldn't surprise me.

Liz - Me neither.

Will - Hey!! Anyway you can't die, but I can.

Barbossa - Oh now I'm scared!! He's going to shoot himself, what should I do? Unless it escaped your notice I was being sarcastic. Who are you?

Jack - *very fast* He's no one, no one, just my friend's monkey's brother's girlfriend's maid's mother's aunt's husband's sister's uncle's daughter's son's niece's nephew's cousin's grandmother's waiter's son. Great mind though, very astute. *very fast*

Will - My name is. . .is. . .erm. . .er. . .my name is. . .oh crap. . .

*ten minutes later*

Will - . . .Bootstrap Bill. . .wait no. . .that was my father. . .so I'm. . .

*Barbossa and crew gasp*

Ragetti - Bootstrap.

*Barbossa isn't moving*

Jack - Barbossa?

Barbossa - I'm still in shock. You have a friend?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~

Liz - *stands at the edge of the plank gazing into the water* It looks deep down there. . .

Barbossa - Get a move on.

Liz - Is this a good time to mention I can't swim.

Will - Don't worry Liz, I'll save you!

Liz - *stares at him blankly*

Will - Point taken. Just gag me so I don't embarrass myself further. Urgh! That hankerchief is dirty!

Barbossa - *rolls eyes*

Bo'sun - Too. . .

Pintel - . . .come on girl!

Bo'sun - *turns to glare at him* if you mess up my lines one more time. . .I'll. . .

Pintel - *sticks out his tongue*

The two of them argue for several minutes.

Barbossa - Um, guys, she got so bored she jumped off. Your turn Jack.

Monkey cowers.

Barbossa - Awww not you.

Monkey grins, nastily.

Jack - Give me my pistol.

Barbossa - Okay then.

Jack- Give me two pistols! So that I can shoot the wench as well.

Barbossa - K.

Jack - give me twenty pistols so I can attract some attention and escape. . .

Barbossa - K.

Jack - Really?

Barbossa - No. I was being sarcastic.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~

Liz - Bloody stupid island, just floating in the middle of nowhere, I mean what a stupid place to put a deserted island. . .

Jack - I know, fancy putting it in the middle of the sea.

Liz - Bet it was Will who designed this island.

Jack - *just stares at her*

Liz - So shall we get pissed now, or erm. . .later?

Jack - Now.

Liz - I know let's get so pissed that we forget why we're on this island and the fact that we're probably gonna die in a few days, and live in our pissed paradise world.

Jack - What's pissed mean?

Jack - *knock knock*

Liz – Hey is that the wood they use for doors?

Jack - *walks across trap door* hey the grounds really springy *starts jumping up and down* wheeee. . .it’s really fun!! Come on, Emily. . .

Liz - *rolls eyes* my name is Elizabeth!! *glares at him*

Jack – Whatev. . .*suddenly falls through trap door* Oww. . .

Liz – Serves you right!!

Jack – Oh look what I have found. . .RUM!!

Liz – Hey, if there is rum there must be people. . .I mean surely rum doesn’t make itself. . .

Jack – No the sea turtles make it.

Liz – Oh good, at least we’ll have something to eat then. I’ve never had turtles before.

Jack – Er. . .Liz, hate to break this to you love, but the turtles are more likely to eat you. . .

Liz – Nonsense I’m a vegetarian. . .

Jack – Right, were you blond in another life? *dodges tomatoes thrown by blond readers*

Liz – Nope, I’ve always been Elizabeth.

Jack – Oh god. . .I need to get off this island.

Liz – We have to save Will!!

Jack – Why?

Liz – Duh, ‘cause that’s what the bloody script says.

Jack – This is so boring. . .just you and me talking to each other. . .shall we randomly introduce a new character?

Liz – Okay! *cheesy grin*

Jack - *starts moving rum bottle, squeaky voice* Hullo, I’m mister Mur Elttob. . .

Liz – Wow. . .how did you come up with such a good name?

Jack – It’s rum bottle spelt backwards. . .

Mur Elttob – Hey Liz, you suck. . .

Liz – suck what?

Jack – well now that you come to mention it. . .

Liz – Jack, I would rather have sex with a sea turtle then you. . .

Jack - *grins* Me too!! But since that’s out the question. . .

Liz – I would rather consummate a relationship, means have sex. . .

Jack – I know what it means. *glare*

Liz – Sorry, you just seem like an indoor bloke. . .

Jack – damn right. . .why go outside when everything you need is lying right nest to you?

Mur Elttob – Oh I’m sensing a lot of concealed anger here!

Jack and Liz – SHUT UP!!

*Later on in the evening*

Liz – Jack, why are you crying?

Jack – Mur Elltob is dead!

Liz - *gasp* But this is Disney!!

Jack – I killed him!!

Liz - *backs away* But this is Disney. . .

Jack – Oh yeah. . .I’m sure he’ll back to life. . .or be in the sequel.

Liz – There’s a sequel?!

Jack - *nods* Wouldn’t turn down that much money!?

Liz – I know, it’s so fun acting drunk. . .

Jack – Yes, acting. . .*whistles* Should we bury him? *picks up broken bottle*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Liz – *wakes up* Jack! Jack! What are you doing darling?! *sees the bonfire* Why are you burning the rum?

Jack – ‘cause I can’t stand another second on this godforsaken spit of land. . .

Liz – Aww that’s so sweet. . .

Jack . . .with you!!

*Navy ship arrives*

Jack – I’ll give you three hundred shillings if you leave her behind.

Norrington - *shakes head* sorry, I’m engaged to her. . .

Jack – How about you?

Swann – Willingly. . .

Liz – We have to save Will! Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. . .

Norrington – You’re not going to run off with him are you?

Liz – NO!! *fingers crossed behind her back*

Norrington – Good, just checking. Jack stir the ship. . .

Jack - *massive smirk, Gollum voice* He he he he he the ship is mine!! I’ll take you to the Isla de Meurta *wink*

Norrington – On second thoughts take Jack below and tie him up.

Jack – I was being sarcastic.

Norrington – Oh okay then.

Jack - *sniggers* sucker!

Gillette – He called you a ****er, sir!!

Jack - *sticks out tongue* Snitch!!

Gillette – Hey, he called me a *****!!

Jack - *shakes head* Oh you silly shaving cream.

Gillette - *pouts* only sir’s allowed to call me that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Pintel – This is the part where we tell the audience the history of Bootstrap Bill.

Ragetti – Yay!! At last, after about three hours of foreshadowing. . .here is the grand story. . .

Pintel – Oy I’m telling the story!! Anyway *ahem* Bill was a traitor so we killed him.

Barbossa - *bark* bring him. . .*walks away*

Pintel – which him did he mean? There’s like ten of ‘em!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Norrington – I don’t care for the situation I strictly ordered no frills! *standing in front of the mirror, trying on his new uniform*

Gillette – But the blood stains come out with 33% less washing!

Norrington – B E A utiful.

Gillette – We’ll be sued if you nick lines from other films.

Norrington – I’m not stealing it, I’m borrowing it!

Jack – Ah ha! *bursts into room* Found you, you naughty minx!!

Norrington – Yes?

Jack - *pouts* sorry Liz and I are playing hide and seek, wanna play?

Norrington - *mouth open in shock* think I’ll pass.

Jack – Good, ‘cause quite frankly you’re boring! *leaves room, precedes to next cabin* Ah ha! *etc*

Norrington – Who’s Frank?

Gillette – Maybe it’s that pet bottle he brought with him.

MOVED TO GEN. FIC AREA

Meh