It seems you have had some hard times, but are you sure the SS is the right choice, to me it seems as though they will try to stifle your power. You will be led, have all your choices made for you with no chance to try and remember who you really are and what you want. and after all is that not what you are truly after to try and find the rea you?
...i am tryin' t'find my past as long as i can... but i have nothin' with me now... no one beside me...
all i have for now ... is this little stuff in my pocket, which i found in my bed last time.. -- it's an "Ace of Spade" ... i wonder how it came to me... maybe ... i thought .. i have a past in it.