Gender
If you're like most people, common everyday items look inert to you. But what you may not know is that many have a gender. For example...
Freezer bags - Male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.
Photocopier - Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc, if the wrong buttons are pushed.
Tyre - Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated.
Hot Air Balloon - Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light
a fire under its arse and, of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges - Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.
Web page - Female, because they're always getting hit on.
London Underground - Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.
Hourglass - Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
Hammer - Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
Remote control - Female... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider -
It gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't
always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!