Try these on for size :
Did you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
>>little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE
>>
>>Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
>>section in a swimming pool?
>>
>>OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa
>>Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee
>>Titans?
>>
>>If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one
>>enjoys it?
>>
>>There are three religious truths:
>> 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
>> 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
>>Christian faith.
>> 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
>>Hooters.
>>
>>If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he
>>become disoriented?
>>
>>If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
>>called Holes?
>>
>>Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
>>
>>Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>>
>>If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
>>
>>If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
>>
>>When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two
>>cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?
>>
>>Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
>>
>>Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to
>>begin with?
>>
>>Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who
>>drives a racecar not called a racist?
>>
>>Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite?
>>
>>Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
>>
>>If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
>>electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
>>deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
>>
>>If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
>>
>>Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>>
>>What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
>>I thought about how mother's feed their babies with tiny little spoons and
>>forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
>>
>>Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
>>What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
>>pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
>>deliver the mail?
>>
>>If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
>>others here for?
>>
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.