Another attempt by Stealth Agent (The heist)

Here is another poor attempt by me Stealth Agent to write something. let me see what you think of it i will keep it updated.
The Heist isn't the actual title. There isn't one yet.

David rubbed the barrel of his gun down with a cloth for the third time now. He was sweating nervously. He just couldn’t bring himself to completely acknowledge what he was doing. He never before sunk this low. David knew he needed the money he was tired of being treated like a piece of gum on the sidewalk that everybody stepped on. Starring out the tinted windows, he watching the scenery move by.
David’s past life was nothing but in ruins. Everything he loved and cared about had been destroyed. He no longer had a job. Now after last week he is a complete outcast from society. his soul felt like it was destroyed he no longer had a purpose.

He turned around toward his partner Jay. “You ready?” David asked.
“I’ve been ready.” Jay stated.
“And Bruce?”
“I don’t think there’s a time in Bruce’s life when he wasn’t ready.”
“Alright.” David nodded. Bruce was the head of this operation and he full heartedly promised David it would go perfect.
..………………

Good so far. Sounds like this could be a cool story.

It has my interest so far

The car halted to a stop, next to the Avondale Free Waters bank. Gulping a small mix of saliva and sweat down his throat. David was ready. Rubbing with his left hand what used to be his clean smooth chin, now it was a rugged unshaved jaw. He tightened the grip on the his black hand gun.
There was a moment of silence where Jay next to him just peered out the window looking at the bank. Quickly David and Jay both slid on Ski Mask’s.

“LETS GO!” Bruce yelled from up in the front seat. Bruce leaped out of the passenger seat of the mini van. Holding a nine millimeter hand gun in his hand. David popped open the side door with his red cotton ski mask on and Jay followed out with a black cotton ski mask on.
Heading into the building . David seemed to freeze up. Every negative thing that could happen rushed through his mind. What if he got killed, what if he got caught. How come they didn’t have a driver. How come there was no driver seemed the only reasonable thing to say. He didn’t want to say to much Bruce was like a bull dog ready to snap at any moment.
“Don’t we need a driver in the movies they always have Drivers.”
“You keep your mouth shut!” Bruce waved his gun at David. “We listen to me and I say we don’t need a driver. You do your job!”

David faintly nodded as he pushed through the revolving glass door into the bank.

Thanks guys here's another piece

Looking around at everybody in the bank he grew wary. There was several people in there a few children, an elderly woman, a middle aged man and what seemed to be his wife. Also two security guards. There was one and one thing only that David was support to do. Destroy the security camera’s. Ignoring the look of dread on each civilian’s face he turned away from them and held his gun up high.

David stood there shaking, the civilian’s were screaming and Bruce was bellowing out orders at them. David’s back was faced to everybody as he aimed at the revolving camera that hung over the front door. His back was faced to them like a coward. He couldn’t look at the crying children, the frightened cashier’s, the breathless husband or the panicked woman with everything to live for. David resembled a cowering rat faced with a ferocious feline.
He tightened his grasp on the trigger hesitating for a moment, still shaking he licked his lips.

“COME ON!” Bruce shouted at him. “Take out the cameras!”
Bruce’s voice terrified every nerve in David’s body it made him tremble even more.

Aiming at the camera, David closed his eyes and pulled the trigger ignoring all the chaos around him. He pulled the trigger again, again and again. Only listening to the jet explosion’s that followed out from the gun every time he squeezed that little trigger. Opening his eyes he saw the camera in pieces along with the shattered tile behind it that coated the wall.

Yo school started for me ive been really bussy ill try to update this tonight

Everyone in the bank was screaming Bruce was the only one with no mask on. Bruce seemed to be a reckless crazy fool filled with confidence. The two security guards both had there guns drawn aiming at Bruce. They were demanding that he get down now. If he robbed this bank he would get life in prison. There was still a way out they were trying to talk him down.

Bruce paid no mind to them he only pointed his gun at the cashers, “Empty the Vault money into the bag.” The casher’s looked to the security guards for reinsurance. The guards only nodded yes.

A wave of fear rushed over David as he continued to look at the security guards. Why hadn‘t they called for backup. Were they afraid to let there guns down? Were they confident enough they could handle Bruce? Up to this point it seemed like Bruce hadn’t acknowledged the officers existed. He didn’t even look at them.
After watching one of the casher’s get the vault open. He made a swift turn to the left followed by two more earsplitting explosions.
David’s first instinct was the guards shot Bruce down for making such a sudden movement. That wasn’t the case, Bruce was grinning a sinister smirk showing off all his pearly white teeth.

I have more done but didnt want to post to much at once please gimme your feedback

aight ive been gone doesnt really matter cuz no one gives a flying F*ck about this but i will continue shortly

A mist of smoke and gunpowder slowly poured its way from the barrel the gun. Each officer had a moist red spot on there shirts. There face’s freeze framed.
The older guard’s face was filled with confusion. The only thing moved was his eyes. They watched Bruce indefinitely.
The other young more athletic guard. His face was something David would never forget. It was a face that would haunt him forever. It was horrified filled with dread, pain and fear. That guard’s future disappeared before his eyes. He clutched his chest while a single tear rolled down his eye. He collapsed to the floor lifeless…..

The standing cop cringed the large red stain on his blue shirt continued to grow but he only pulled up his gun his body trembling he could barely keep his eyes focused his lip quivered but he only took aim. The old guard managed to pull the trigger only once firing a stray bullet. The bullet grazed the air without hitting anywhere near Bruce or his comrades. It took only that for Bruce to mercilessly flip up his gun and land four bullet’s into the old timer. Standing up several thumps ricocheted from the man’s body as spurts of blood followed from each collision. He fell next to his partner’s corpse.
David stood there with a blank expression Bruce just killed two cops without a second thought. Was this man evil without a conscience? Jay didn’t seemed surprised by this he just continued to get the money and fill up the sacks. There was something weird about David’s friend Jay he sweating nervously as he transferred the money to the bag as fast as possible. He wanted to get out of here just like David.

Good story. It's very well-written and has good desciptions. Nice job.

thankyou

The room had finally become silent asides from a few cowering whines. The civilians were huddled on the floor bunched together scared lifeless.
Bruce turned to David while he stuffed his gun with new shells. “Take out the cameras!” he cursed.

David turned away aiming his gun at another one across the room. Pulling the trigger three times he managed to shatter it. David jogged across the room while pulling some shells from his pocket. He brought them to the gun but with a nervous twitch he dropped them all of the shells to the floor. He dropped down on his knees scrambling to grab them all when the Bruce cold chilling voice spoke up.
“Don’t make me shoot you too.” Bruce pointed his gun at David. Crouched on the floor reloading his gun. David wondered had this been worth it to rob a bank. Then with a memory flash back. He knew it was worth it.
“Behind the counter!” Bruce pointed.
There was another camera well hidden behind right over the cashers. David jumped over the counter and pressed the barrel against the lenses. He saw a distorted image of his reflection in the lenses. A second later a bullet pierced right through the lenses to the core of the camera. Piece’s rained around him.

Grabbing one of the sacks they brought that was now filled with money David jumped back over the counter.
“Alright lets go.” Bruce ordered.
Holding the sack David ran towards the glass door. Bruce ahead of him Jay behind him. Do to a loud scream he spun around to see the younger security guard who was only hit once. He had been assumed dead. Somehow he managed to survive it. The cop was laying on the ground he grabbed the man’s feet closest to him, Jays. With a yank at his feet Jay tumbled face forward to the floor. He had Jay’s face into the mosaic tile. The young guard had twisted Jay’s arm’s into a submission position while Jay twisted effortlessly hurting his own self. The cop was struggling quite a bit still somehow he managed to pin Jay.
That’s when Jay noticed it. The officer that holding him down was gagging with every breath he took. He knew he was going to die but he wanted to take Jay down with his last breath. The guard pulled himself back onto his bottom he fronted Jay up like a shield slapped handcuff’s on him.

David only watched in devastation but Bruce made an act. Bruce took a step forward and raised his gun. The hot barrel only inches away from Jay’s own forehead. Then he fired the gun. The bullet he fired landed dead center into the middle of Jay’s forehead. Bruce and David both had the two sacks of money. “Bruce screamed c’mon les
go.”

😈