What would you do?

My mum died last July of leukimia - we didn't know she had it so her death was extremely sudden.

3 months after my dad started seeing this woman off the internet - she was insensitive to my families needs and consumed my dads mind constantly. He was away every day and night apart from a Tuesday and Thursday night but even then he wouldn't come home till about 9 at night!

He was horrible to my sister and I and wouldn't listen to reason and wasn't there when we needed him the most - he neglected us and how we were feeling, he left us with no food in the house and in particular myself with no company.He gave us emotional abuse as well. I still can't forgive him.

At the beginning of the summer holidays she dumped him - then he seemed to realise his mistakes and that he'd been extremely selfish.
Things were great during the summer and it was like repairing a friendship.

Now he has started to go on dating sites and meeting the women from them. Personally I don't approve of internet dating as I think it is a bad example for my dad to giving us and that you never really know the person and you need that element of trust for a relationship.

Again he is going out a lot and spends forever on the net - I've tried talking to him about this but he doesn't listen - that's mistake number 1 again!
He has obviously slept with one of the women first time he met her coz he is acting guilty and upset and it also says on his text that they never meant things to go so far! I know that might be sad to do but I need to know whats going on one way or the other.
He's meeting her again and I'm not happy because he is starting to do what he did before and I'm worried.

Also the worst bit - I found an e-mail that he wrote to his ***** and it basically said he didn't love my mum and he was glad she was dead.
This sickens me - what would anyone suggest to do and please no jokes cause I'm being serious and this is quite upsetting.

Thanks to all who reply

i have no idea what to do.
but i hope it will figure out somehow cry

🙁 i dont know what to say. 🙁

That's awful! what a prick

i'd beat up my dad....

if i was a 6' tall guy with with muscles 😖

if not... i'd make his life a hell

He's an arse I agree!

do you have grandmother?
move to her.

How old are you? Do you have any relatives, or friends that you could move in with.

I know that I would want to get away from him... He is causing you too much emotional pain. You said that you talked to him, but did you tell him how his actions make you feel?

Try talking to him again, tell him that he seems to value time with these women more than with his own family, and that it is tearing you apart inside. Let him know that he needs to change his ways, or else any relationship he could have with his children could become too damaged to repair.

If he still doesn't listen, remember: you can't controll his actions, but you can control how they make you feel. If you have no other choices, distance yourself from him emotionally.

Hugs 😊 Take care of yourself sweetie. Let us know what happens.

I fell out with my gran coz of him and his lying

That's really horrible, and I'm so sorry.

I'd suggest trying to talk to him. Let him know how what he's doing is making you and your sister feel. Tell him that you guys don't approve of it. Also, let other family members know how you feel and what you're going through.

Originally posted by ~Angel~

Try talking to him again, tell him that he seems to value time with these women more than with his own family, and that it is tearing you apart inside. Let him know that he needs to change his ways, or else any relationship he could have with his children could become too damaged to repair.

I could stay with my sister's boyfriend and his friend in their flat. I'm 16
I've just started my highers but I don't have the motivation for them and I think this has got something to do with it - I mean maybe I want to leave school bcoz I'm trying to escape from him but I don't know what I'd do.

I told him how he made me feel but all he cared about was meeting other women or getting back with his girl - friend.

He's already lost us once but I tried to tell him I wasn't happy about him spending so much time on the net and all I said was "don't b on that too long" and he went mental.

It sickens me to even look at him - he's going out again on sat with this woman and he was miserable everyday until he found out he was going to meet her again!

I feel like I'm empty and numb and sometimes I feel like I don't exist.
I've even tried other family members but he wrecked that for me and I've tried guidance at the school but he doesn't listen he's selfish - I never knew my mum covered it up so well.

I just wish it was the other way round and she was still here!

You're right fearnix

when in doubt, tell your dad what I told my mom.

"As of this moment, you are not invited to my wedding when I get older, and if you ever want to be there to witness that day....then you better straighten out your act"

Of course, i said this to my mom because she's an out of control alcoholic, but...if he loves you, then it'll hit real close to home.

good advice he already knows i was on the verge of leaving or killing myself but i thought why give him the pleasure of seeing me do that hes not worth it

If he's really that bad and you think that he won't listen and try to straighten out his act, then you should find out if you have any relatives that you can stay with.

And whatever you do, don't consider suicide an option, please?

i wont! I just dont think its a good idea to give up school for the sake of him - its not just as easy as moving out i need to think about what i want out of life as well i cant just keep running away - i need to think

How far away does your sister's boyfriend live? Can't you still go to school, even if you have to change schools, while living there?

the death of a loved one , especially a parent , is really hard for the entire family . its possible that your dads behavoir is his way of dealing with the loss of his spouse . even so it doesnt excuse his behavior . as your father he has an obligation to help you and your sister get through this and this should be a time of healing for your family .

personally i would give it one more shot . sit with him and tell him how you are feeling and let him know you are there for him as he should be for you .

do your best to talk without offending and listen without deffending .

if he cant be there for you sweetie then i strongly advise you to speak to a guidence counciler (sp?) at school . you need to talk to someone about this and you need support .

i wish you well and hope things turn out good for you .

Originally posted by shellie
the death of a loved one , especially a parent , is really hard for the entire family . its possible that your dads behavoir is his way of dealing with the loss of his spouse . even so it doesnt excuse his behavior . as your father he has an obligation to help you and your sister get through this and this should be a time of healing for your family .

personally i would give it one more shot . sit with him and tell him how you are feeling and let him know you are there for him as he should be for you .

do your best to talk without offending and listen without deffending .

if he cant be there for you sweetie then i strongly advise you to speak to a guidence counciler (sp?) at school . you need to talk to someone about this and you need support .

i wish you well and hope things turn out good for you .