Review the thread that reviews the review threads

I Couldn't think what to call this thread (does it show?) I wanted to call it "This thread ****ed your momma" but suspected Lb would close it.

Noticed how many "Hi - My name is X and I have my own movie review thread" threads you have been seeing lately? Confused? Don't know where to turn? What to think? Doesn't surprise me - you are kinda stupid but FRET NOT! Unca Zero is here to help…

Here to make your day that much easier is my review of the review threads: please review my reviews* and lets see just how postmodern we can get.

*stay on topic or this is going to end up in the OTF where it belongs.

Hunchy's Movie Reviews

It's hard to say just how Hunchy's review thread will pan out. At first glance it's a little too frenetic - At first simply a long listing of movies he thinks are worth watching with no comment. When "encouraged" by his "fans" for more insight he responds by another bloated post listing even more movies with simple one sentence reviews that boil down in many cases to not much more than a tagline and a thumbs up.

This is in fact not such a bad way of reviewing films - it has a certain charm and style and is at least quicker to get through that Cinemaddictions endless bloody waffling - but I think the watchword here is "too much too soon" - ease us in gently Hunchy or your going to lose us before you get going.

Solo's Big Pimpin Review Thread!

Spelling & punctuation are lax and he manages to review the Grudge without even mentioning that it's another in a line of western remakes. Doesn't give much of an indication as to why he thinks the film fails - just that he didn't like it.

The thread is peppered with bitter acrimony from Hunchy (watch he and solo go at each other like two drag queens fighting over the last false *** is the most fun this thread offers) and a long winded post from Cinemaddiction blowing his own reviewing horn. Worth reading only for the sound advice from everyones fave horror forum mod, the laser-like legend that is m'man backfire. Yo my peeps!

Johnny's Reviews

Johnny reviewed Die Hard, Hidalgo, Star Trek: Nemesis & The Whole 10 yards. Nobody ever commented. Ever. Not once. I like to think that since then Johnny has been swinging on a rope in his room slowly mummifying and that his parents haven't even noticed yet. What a loser.

Cine-picks of the Week

What can I say about CD that you didn’t already hear on last nights episode of COPS? Yes he's an inconsistent pompous gasbag - but it's not like you ever took the time to finish reading anything he wrote so who are you to judge… fact is that agree or disagree with CDs reviews you knew why he liked or disliked a movie so you could judge for yourself whether to give it a whirl based on what he said. You follow what I'm saying? I know that’s a huge ****ing stretch for the majority of you that think "It totally ROCKED" is a review but trust me - CD was the man - (or at least part-man depending on if you think that MPEG was faked or not.)

We miss CDs thread, his genuine love of the medium, his inflated sense of self importance and his little roundup puns. Come back CD and show these punks how its done.

Movie Picks (By Stormy Day)

Stormy had a pretty open mind movie-wise for such a young kid, but it was impossible to take his reviews seriously as I read all of them in a lisping sing-song girls voice.

I miss his presence here at KMC but he was banned for posting nude pictures of his mother in the role-play forum and I have to agree with the mods in this instance, that’s just sick.

hunchy sucks more, cos he thinks kill bill is a trilogy.

Originally posted by eggmayo
hunchy sucks more, cos he thinks kill bill is a trilogy.

Ignoring the fact that my entire thread is an attack thinly disguised as satire please refrain from personal comments about the reviewers and restrict yourself to factual comments which can be substantiated.

Thanks for taking part tho, your input was very valuable.

hysterical you are killing me

Originally posted by Jedi Priestess
hysterical you are killing me

why thankyou. I could pretend I'm nonchalant but truth is i near died myself writing this crap. Its good to have an audient.

Im so tempted to use my mod powers and move this somewhere - unsure where yet, but im on mod holiday - so its gonna stay untouched.

do we have a trash can? 😂

Originally posted by Mr Zero
Cine-picks of the Week

his inflated sense of self importance and his little roundup puns.

Game recognizes game, no? 😉

Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
Game recognizes game, no? 😉

you know it.

Jesus Christ this thread is awesome.

just another example of Mr. Zero in top form...

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Im so tempted to use my mod powers and move this somewhere - unsure where yet, but im on mod holiday - so its gonna stay untouched.

I'm reading this post but all Im thinking is "titty in the sig file"

Originally posted by Mr Zero
I'm reading this post but all Im thinking is "titty in the sig file"

Its Ditas titty too! Happiness.

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Its Ditas titty too! Happiness.

"Ditas titty too" is my new mantra.

I love when I inspire - which is all the time.