Star Wars: Shroud of the Sith

m currently working on a star wars story of my own. it is set 3000 years before episode 1, a time when jedi and sith ate plentiful. part 1 will be posted in 2 days heres the main characters:

Alan Poldren : a young teenage boy who lives on the isolated planet: Rogoion. he constantly dreams of becoming a Jedi but that dream is taken away from him by his mother who thinks the planets dangerous and wont let him leave the house much

Kin-ole-linge: A Jedi Master who discovers Alan on Coruscant after he arrives there and becomes his teacher

Darth Devais The 600 year old Sith master whos powers are greater than all the sith and jedi put together. he can kill anybody telepathically

I will work on more as i progress through the story

heres what alan looks like at the end of the story

Let's see, you're describing:

#1 Anakin
#2 Qui Gon Jinn
#3 Yodi

And the picture looks an awfully-like Obi Wan.

I would suggest you not duplicate Lucas idea. Create your own.

JESUS CHRIST WOMAN. IM DESCRIBING PEOPLE THAT I CAME UP WITH. THEY MAY SEEM LIKE THINGS FROM LUCAS'S MIND BUT HERES WHY I GAVE THEM THOSE DESCRIPTIONS

DD: he is really old because at 1 point in the story alan trys to take on dd because he thinks old people are weak but dd has used to force to his advantage to stay strong. as i said his powers are greater than all the sith and jedi put together and alan gets slaughtered (he is barely alive) so he trys to become even more powerful than the other jedi to kill dd but

Spoiler:
little does he know that Kin-ole-linge is edging him to the dark side because Kin-ole-linge is actualy a sith which your not supposed to know until part 11 but alan becomes a sith lord and the sith launch an attack on the jedi because they are planning to take over the galaxy then the universe and they dont want the jedi interfering.

Kin-ole-linge: they jedi live on coruscant, he is out and about partoling the streets and alan crash lands and Kin-ole-linge finds him and senses the force is strong with him so he takes him to the council (its small since its 3000 years before ep1)

Alan: i needed something to make him really timid but yet so head strong so i made him have a mother that wont let him leave the house and i gave him the will and determination to get through life.

i admit that pic looks like obi but he resembles obi except of course

Spoiler:
alan goes to the dark side

and for everyone else part one will be posted in 4 hours

Part 1 ( a bit early and also a bit rubbish but i rushed to complete it. score me!):

There was no way out. Being chased through the very depths of Rogoion by soldiers. Alan Poldren, a bright young teenager was running through the city. He had brown hair and was starting to grow a beard. He was medium in weight and had blue eyes. He tripped over a rock and landed on his back. The 2 soldiers stopped in front of him. Alan reached his arm out at a metal cylinder and it came flying toward him. One of the soldiers fired a bullet at Alan but a long blue blade ignited from the metal handle and Alan put to in the path of the bullet. The bullet rebounded and hit one of them in the stomach. He fell crying for his mummy. The other one ran but Alan jumped forward and stabbed him with the blade. He switched of the lightsaber and heard a voice. “ALAN. ALAN” he heard. He woke up and called out, “ What mum”. “Hurry and get up” she replied. “Your breakfast is getting cold honey”. Alan got out of his sweaty bed and walked out into the other room. As he walked in he was greeted by a smell of fried gartnif and freshly squeezed Ouionium. “Mum”. Alan called. “Why cant I be a Jedi like my father?”. “Sweetie” she replied. “You know what happened to your father, I don’t want you to get yourself killed like him”. Alan sighed as he slowly ate his overcooked gartnif. After breakfast he went out to the back garden to take in the washing but a loud explosion erupted from inside. He heard his mother scream as laser blasts fired rapidly. He didn’t know what happened to his mother but he knew what ever got her was coming for him. He jumped over the back wall and ran as fast as he can. He saw a starship ahead he started running there but he heard laser blasts behind him and sand was popping up by his feet. He was just near the ship when it started hovering and the cargo doors were closing he jumped forward and slid through just as the doors were shut fully. He heard blasts out side but he could feel the ship starting to speed. He knew he was safely out of the way. But what happened to his mum…

Originally posted by Reborn Again
Let's see, you're describing:

#1 Anakin
#2 Qui Gon Jinn
#3 Yodi

And the picture looks an awfully-like Obi Wan.

I would suggest you not duplicate Lucas idea. Create your own.

With hero machine (I presume it is), it's quite difficult to make them look different...

it is from hero machine

Part 2 is in production and should be posted in 5 days

Blah, changed the title for you because I realized that "Myteries of the Sith" was a video game...

I am not a woman.

i was just ranting... 😐

...And you may be describing people you came up with, however, they're too similiar to the people I posted. If I can see it, others will too.

sorry. i came up with these characters and i had to describe them so i wrote down the frist things that came to my head then i fleshed it out

halt in production for part 2. the release date can not be determined at this point

here is Darth Devais

I would not be using HeroMachine to make the dudes...seeing as Devais is invisible... 😐

hes supposed to be like that. be blends into the dark plus click on the image and you can see him properly

Its confirmed. Part 2 will be released on December 1st 2004 at 18:00 PM (london time)

Alrighty then...

sorry but part 2 will definently be posted in 24 hours and 40 min

sorry about the delay ive had alot of work to do. part 2 isnt a long as part 1 because i havnt had time to think about it but here is part 2 (finaly) :

As the ship came out of hyperspace, it felt like it was hitting asteroids. It was rocking incredibly violently. Suddenly a huge explosion blasted through the cargo hanger of the ship. Alan looked out. He could see huge buildings spawning for about 759 miles he looked around and saw the ship was about to hit the ground. He jumped out of the hole were the explosion came through and landed on a building just 2 meters below him. The ship exploded with a sound that was deafening to the ear. Screams followed the explosion as loads of creatures ran to the crash site. Alan looked around. He got hit in the head as he landed and was bleeding heavily. He saw a hooded figure coming toward him and passed out.