Dilbert vs. John
What can be said about these two distinctive characters from the land of humorous comic strips? Both Dilbert and John (from Garfield) are pushed around by managers or cats, both live in a dangerous world filled with painful mishaps and smart animals, both seem to have very small degrees of self respect or dignity... and neither has a girl friend....
Thus, the two meet in a restaurant, while trying to impress their dates, and for some strange reason resort to fighting a battle... who wins...?