Pet Peeves

DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS

· Blaming your farts on me...not funny.

· Yelling at me for barking...I'M A DOG YOU IDIOT!!

· Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

· Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

· Yelling at me for rubbing my arse on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

· Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.

· How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

· Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.

· Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

· Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

· The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

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