cljohnston108
Junior Member
Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
Did you ever listen to the commentary with Len Wiseman, anyway? The UR commentary was more fun than actually "teachy", meaning I didn't learn anything other than Kate Beckinsale is funny as hell.
Originally posted by Mane
Thanks. I've never heard the commentary, no. How is Beckinsale funny? I know she's attractive. drool
Greetings!
Just found this thread (and thus this Forum) by Googling the words "underworld commentary beckinsale funny".
I did this because I'm about halfway through watching the movie for the second time, this time with commentary turned on, and my face was starting to hurt from smiling too much, and my ribs were aching from laughter, so I needed to take a break!
"Hellboy" had been my favorite commentary (Perlman, Blair, Tambor & Evans), but now...
Beckinsale is always playing such sullen characters, I never suspected she had an actual sense of humor!
Her comebacks are smooth, instantaneous, unforced, and mostly delivered at near-whisper volume, which really heightens the effect.
The whole time I was listening, I kept saying to myself, "Somebody needs to transcribe this!" So, in lieu of an entire transcript, please permit me to provide a small sampling.
At the beginning, when we see Selene crouched on the railing in the tower, coat billowing out behind her, Beckinsale says, "That's what my brother calls my 'Bad Gas Moment'."
During the "Ultraviolet Ammo" scene...
Wiseman: This just took forever! There was just a lot of people to cover.
Beckinsale: Hmmm... None of us were really very good, is that what you're saying?
During the "You're All Acting Like Rabid Dogs!" scene...
Speedman: Do they have to be completely naked?
Beckinsale: They weren't, they just rolled their knickers down, didn't they? Do we not say 'knickers' in America?
Speedman: You can say 'knickers'. That would be cool if...
Wiseman: ...if you're a five-year-old.
>snip<
Beckinsale: They were really embarrassed, though, weren't they?
Speedman: Well, that is kind of embarrassing, gotta be naked in front of the camera...
Beckinsale: It's not so much the naked, it's the wet perm that would bother me.
When Singe (Lucian's "Mad Scientist"😉 walks toward camera...
Beckinsale: Boy, you just never want somebody coming at you with those gloves on and that expression.
After we meet Erika (Sophia Myles) for the first time...
Speedman: Is her character in the second one? We allowed to talk about that?
Wiseman: Y-yeah, we are. Uhhh, Erika's not.
(beat)
Beckinsale: Am I?
Wiseman: I-I haven't read it yet.
Beckinsale & Wiseman love to tease Speedman for having fallen asleep at the premier, so most of his questions are answered with sentences that end with "...a film called 'Underworld'."
There's also a great bit about Speedman's search for a basketball court and Beckinsale teasing him about his "short shorts", and his voice gets all squeaky when Wiseman accuses him of being a baby. 😆
Of course, the whole Love Triangle aspect to that production does kinda make things more interesting: Beckinsale was living with (and now married to) the director (Len Wiseman), and co-starring with the father of her daughter (Michael Sheen (Lucian)), so there are some subtle "domestic" issues that I thought were handled quite well...
After Lucian's stabbed Selene in the shoulder through the roof of the car, Beckinsale says, "I always think it's healthy for a child to have her parents, sort of, stabbing each other through hoods of cars."
But my favorite part is when Selene's car crashes in the water...
Beckinsale: Is this a miniature, or real thing?
Wiseman: This a miniature. This all miniature.
Beckinsale: I think that's very clever. And I like that you play with dolls and little toy cars.
Wiseman: Thank you, Honey. And I appreciate that you make that known to everybody. I would actually like if you'd stop calling them "dolls".
Speedman: What dolls do you play with?
Wiseman: They're not dolls! Lily goes around and says, "Len plays with dolls..."
Speedman: Len... Wha-what dolls?
Wiseman: They're not dolls! They're...
Speedman: What are they?
Wiseman: They're action figures!
Beckinsale: Lily doesn't actually say "dolls". I'm the only one. She corrects me.
Wiseman: Yeah, you try to get her to... I've gotten her to say "action figures"!