Then just believe!! You must have Faith in God. Faith is believing when you don't see. Jesus Loves everyone and he died on the cross for everyone, we just all have the choice to chose him or not.
I also lost my mom, and it's very hard at times, some days are worse than others. We don't always understand everything, and things don't always go are way or the way we think they shld go, but that doesn't mean that God is not here, that doesn't mean he's not hearing us. Its just like if you had a kid, and you gave your kid everything they always wanted, what kid of person do you thk he/she would turn out to me? Most likely a spoiled rotton bratt, that no one likes to be around, cuz they always whinn if things don't go their way. God can't give us everything we want for the exact same reason. We would take him for granted and use him and thats wrng. Everything we go thru in life we get stronger, or weaker depends on how we handle the situation. GOD Is always there to help us thru it, but the problme is we always try to do it on are own.
Rom 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Rom 10:10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Rom 10:11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.
Rom 10:12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
Rom 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.