Oh our educated youth!

💃 Better to be a smartass than a dumbass. 💃

INkeeper> I don't care if those are fake or not, I almost shit my pants reading them. that was so funny

have a couple of favourites here

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

There's no need to slam them by calling whoever made them up "uneducated," since there's no way to determine that from the actual metaphors. They seem pretty creative to me.

Insurance Claims:

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run so I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows

Originally posted by BackFire
It's pretty obvious that almost all of those were intentionally sarcastic and silly.

I had a history teacher last year who didn't know how to spell "Africa" 😐
She wrote "Afrika" once, and when she saw our reaction, she only used initials for it, like A.

Im still confuzzled about that 😕

Maybe she was talking about Afrika Bambaataa.

Originally posted by ChickinMeat
In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

hysterical