First off, I'll nail you down to a 6" deep wooden box, filled with various assortments of worms and slugs and slowly shave off your penis using a cheese grater. Next I staple open your eyelids and watch as they slowly bleed from the inside, leading up to the next step which is to gouge them out using a rusty spoon, and a screwdriver. While your eye sockets are bleeding from your insides, I slowly saw off your testicles using an assortment of tools from my workbench. Next, I shove your balls into your eyesockets and laugh at your pathetic moans of agony. A week passes and the only thing you can eat, is the assortment of worms and slugs slowly crawling around your body and up your ass. I return with a pencil sharpener and saw off your fingers, until the only thing remaining is 10 bloody stubs. From there I take a chainsaw and extend your ass crack by another 6 inches... forcing you to shit out your intestines and other various organs. Finally I throw your distorted body on the ground and send in a group of starving rats, that slowly eat you alive....over the course of a few days