Funny stuff

😮‍💨 Yo, I'm so cool. Check me out I'm smoking!
🤓 Mike, you know smoking is bad for you.
😠 Shut the hell up and let me smoke, Geek
🤓 Fine, but if an alien is attracted to the smoke and comes to take you away, I've warned you.

Wow, thats....uh.......good?

Later, the same night...

😮‍💨 Hey bitchas check my smokes I'm cool.
👽 I'm no bitchas, I'm an alien and it's time for you to die.
😮‍💨 Shit, I always tought smokes killed you, but now I know that it's actually aliens that kills you when you smoke.
👽 You are a smart boy, now come with me. You have discovered our plan. We invented smokes so we could travel in space without being lost. You humans ignite Earth with all your cigarettes that it shines more than the Sun. It becam an indication in space. But now that you've discovered it, you must be taken away.
🤨 Huh, you just told me.
👽 ................ Shut up!

Just like oscar the grouch 🙂

😆

And so Mike followed the alien in a sort of box, with reindeers that pulled it.

😕 I only know one person who has that sort of travel system
👽 Ha huh (shit I should have brought my spaceship)

Mike takes the mask off and discovers the alien is actually Santa Claus

😑 OMG this is terrible.
😖anta: Ya, well I was tired of giving gifts without anyone giving me gifts in return, so I invented cigarettes to kill all of you, BECAUSE I HATE YOU ALL!!!
😮‍💨 Dang!

With the help of Rudolph, who gave the information that Santa was a descendant of the bull frog, Mike made Santa Claus smoke until h exploded.

😗 It's not my fault if no one have presents this Christmas.
😮‍💨 Anyway, check my puffs bitchas.

The end

Anyone wanna hear my joke?

It is somewhat funny.

Well, it's not that bad... is it?

Funny like a fox!!!

There once was this Black and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, and being the hero-type person that he was, he wanted to marry the King’s daughter. So he went up to the palace, and the guard naturally inquired "Who goes there?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied: "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter."

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Knight proceeded up to the King’s chamber.

"Who goes there?" asked the King.

"I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Knight.

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the King told the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse. "Your first task is to slay the dragon in the mountains".

On the Black and White Knight's way out, the guard once again asked, "Who goes there"?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter."

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Knight then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast. On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter".

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Knight proceeded up to the King’s chamber.

"Who goes there?" asked the King.

"I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Knight.

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the King told the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak ".

On his way out the guard once again asked, "Who goes there?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter".

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later. On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter."

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse proceeded up to the King’s chamber.

"Who goes there?" asked the King.

"I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Knight.

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, if you complete three tasks you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the King told the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace."

On the Black and White Knight's way out the guard once again asked, "Who goes there?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter."

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

Once again the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.

On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter".

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse proceeded up to the King’s chamber.

"Who goes there?" asked the King.

"I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Knight.

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse. May I marry your daughter now?"

"OK."

*is disturbed and leaves* 😕

That was elaborate 😬

[QUOTE=3493737]Originally posted by frodo34x
[B]There once was this Black and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, and being the hero-type person that he was, he wanted to marry the King’s daughter. So he went up to the palace, and the guard naturally inquired "Who goes there?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied: "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter."

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Knight proceeded up to the King’s chamber.

"Who goes there?" asked the King.

"I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Knight.

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the King told the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse. "Your first task is to slay the dragon in the mountains".

On the Black and White Knight's way out, the guard once again asked, "Who goes there"?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter."

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Knight then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast. On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"

To which the Black and White Knight replied "I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry the King’s daughter".

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Knight proceeded up to the King’s chamber.

"Who goes there?" asked the King.

"I'm the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Knight.

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in

"Not the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse?"

"Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

"OK, if you complete three tasks you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the King told the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse. "Your third and "Yes, the Black and White Knight on the Black and White Horse."

how is this a joke?

Its famous amongt us warhammer geeks.

warhammer geeks....I've heard stories about you guys... 🥷

🤨

A Jewish and a Tchek went hunting. They saw a bear, but before they could shoot him, the bear ate the Tchek. The Jewish went to tell the ranger, who was talking to another man (let's call him Mike). They all went on the spot and saw two bears there; a male and a female. The ranger asked:
-Which bear ate your friend?
- It was the male, said the Jewish.
The ranger then shot the female bear and opened its carcass. Inside, he found the body of the Tchek. Mike asked:
-How did you know he was in the female when the Jewish said he was in the male?
The ranger said:
-Never trust a Jew when he says that there's a check in the mail.

LOL

And Frodo and Spiderman, stop ruining my thread.
😂

Originally posted by crazy_c
warhammer geeks....I've heard stories about you guys... 🥷